2023 Playoff Preview
Man, what a season so far! As we get ready to determine the champion from a strong group of 6 contenders, let’s first take a moment to pay our respects to the vanquished.
In Memoriam
It’s a Love Story Kelce Just Say: So how did that Mahomes/Kelce stack work for you Kenny? A year after winning his 3rd title, Kenny suffered an agonizing end to the 2023 season, especially after he changed his name to mirror Kelce’s relationship with Taylor Swift. At least he was able to get a win over archrival Kaelan Carlson to end his pitiful season.
Koo Koo Ka Choo: In his 3rd year in the league, reality struck Connor as the gods of fantasy football made him pay for making everyone look like fools during his first two years in the league. I mean, when your two current RBs are Hunt and McKinnon, yeah you had a bad year.
Old Yellers: Another year, another non-playoff season (3 straight now for Daren). Look, he did not have a bad team at all. But he was unable to string together two wins at all this season and constantly won 1, lost 1-2 games in a holding pattern all year. More consistency next year should lead to a playoff berth as his drafting was strong.
San Diego State Fightin Araizas: 2023’s inactive manager award goes to Dan! Somehow, this team stayed in playoff contention until the last week of the season even though the lineup didn’t change once from the first week. Now that is some luck! While Dan probably won’t be with us in the league next year, he did have a good run with 2 deep playoff runs in 2020 and 2022. You will be missed!
From the Logo!: Oh boy, after dominating the league in his first 5 seasons that culminated with a championship in 2020, Al has now missed the playoffs for 3 straight years! This year wasn’t entirely his fault however as horrible injury luck played a major role in him getting off to a slow start. However, he may need to adjust his strategy in order to stay relevant in the league as I’m sure another year sitting on the couch during playoff season is not going to sit well with him at all.
Love and Flowers: Well that was fun! Starting off 2-7 and then winning 4 straight put me right into the thick of the playoff race and a win in Week 14 would’ve punched my ticket. Alas, my luck ran out on MNF as Barkley sealed the deal with a convincing win. My goal next year: to avoid such a slow start. And also to find a freaking QB so I don’t have to deal with the waiver wire as much.
The Playoff Squads
#6 Seed: Dobbsy is a free Elf – Aaron Green
6-8 Record: Sausage Division #3
2nd Playoff Appearance (2015 and 2023)
1-1 Playoff Record (in games that actually counted towards the championship)
Highest Finish: 3rd, 2015
QB: Losing Kirk Cousins really hurt this team and now that Dobbs is benched, your starting QB is Jake Browning. Not ideal, especially when Matthew Stafford was out there on the waiver wire.
Overall: 4/10
RB: Major strength of the team here as Breece Hall has bounced back from an ACL injury last season and Kamara is still a productive fantasy asset. Depth is a little weak but Edwards is a decent backup right now.
Overall: 8/10
WR: This is what will carry Aaron deep into the playoffs if everything goes right. Hill has had an MVP season at WR and Smith is a solid #2 in a prolific Eagles passing attack. Rashee Rice seems to be the only WR that Mahomes trusts right now. Sutton and Cooper both represent good depth pieces.
Overall: 9.5/10
TE: Kittle is a boom/bust TE but playing with Tom Brady 2.0 as your QB often leads to more boom than not. Goedert is finally healthy and provides good insurance in case it’s needed.
Overall: 8.5/10
K and D/St: The Chiefs D/ST has actually been the better half of the Chiefs’ team this year and is playing at an above average level. The playoff matches are good against New England, Las Vegas, and Cincinnati so they shouldn’t lose Aaron any points.Dicker is Aaron’s kicker but with Herbert most likely done for the year and Allen probably done as well, finding a new kicker on a better offense might be the better bet.
Overall 6.5/10
Summary: Welcome back to the playoffs Aaron! The longest playoff drought has been snapped and this team is legit. Some injuries have hampered its upper potential but a deep playoff run could still manifest itself if everything breaks right.
Overall Points: 36.5/50
#5 Seed: Team Suspension – Kaelan Carlson
8-6 Record: Bacon Division #2
5th Playoff Appearance (2014, 2017, 2019, 2021, and 2023)
6-1 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: 1st (2014, 2017, and 2019)
QB: Jalen Hurts and Jared Goff? Man, some people are so lucky and blessed. Hurts hasn’t been as elite as he was last year but he is still getting the cheap tush push TDs so that helps. Last week was his lowest scoring game of the season, and I expect he won’t go back below 20 for the rest of the playoffs.
Overall: 9.5/10
RB: McCaffrey has unlocked his full potential on the 49’ers and anything less than 20 points in a given week is a disappointment. Jacobs has been ok and Walker should be healthy again givingKaelan an elite edge at RB.
Overall: 9.5/10
WR: Barf. Hopkins is past his prime and is TD dependent. Pittman has done slightly better this season and has consistently scored over 10 points a game for the better part of the last 2 months but there is no depth here whatsoever. Doubs, Dotson, and Beckham are all “break glass in case of emergency” type players.
Overall: 5.5/10
TE: Gerald Everett might just be the Chargers offense for this upcoming week. Cade Otton is another fringe top-24 TE guy. Another subpar group.
Overall: 4.5/10
D/ST and K: 49ers D/ST is elite and Jake Elliot makes kicks with the best of them. Both great options to get you through the playoffs. Kaelan might need to find a different defense for Week 16 if he makes it that far as a potent Baltimore offense comes into town.
Overall: 9.5/10
Summary: The man, the myth, the legend Kaelan Carlson returns to the playoffs in pursuit of his 4th title, which would break the all-time record. Can he do it? He has elite players that can carry his team but if Hurts + McCaffery don’t score a combine 50 points, it might be tough to eek out a win.
Overall Points: 38.5/50
#4 Seed: Crazy Train – Sean Alumbaugh
8-6 Record: Sausage Division #2
5th Playoff Appearance (2014, 2018, 2019, 2021, and 2023)
4-4 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: 2nd (2014, 2018, and 2021)
QB: Purdy has been Purdy good hasn’t he? Whether he is an actual good QB or reliant on the 49ers wealth of offensive weapons, he’s been a steady, consistent source of points this year. Trevor Lawrence provides good depth in case he is needed.
Overall: 9.5/10
RB: Ekeler has shown noticeable signs of regression this year and might no longer be a 1st/2nd round pick going forward. Pacheco is hopefully back as well as Brian Robinson. Edwards-Helaire and Chase Brown are weak depth pieces dependent on an injury to have any fantasy value. The potential for this group is there, can they reach it however?
Overall: 6.5/10
WR: Waddle has been a good Robin to Tyreek’s Batman this year and Olave has managed the QB turmoil in New Orleans well. However, neither one is a clear-cut #1 WR. Cooks and Reed are TD dependent on elite and decent offenses, respectively.
Overall: 6/10
TE: Oh boy, normally when you have a TE in the Flex spot, that is bad news. In this case, he’s actually a great fantasy asset! Whether that is Hockenson or LaPorta doesn’t matter as they are 2 and 4 in TE rankings this year. My Lions have done a good job of drafting Iowa TEs, haven’t they?
Overall: 10/10
D/ST and K: Vikings defense has been a top-10 defense as well as the Bills so it’s really playing matchups the rest of the way. Jake Moody has had plenty of consistent kicking opportunities this year and should provide a healthy 6+ points a game which he has done 9/13 games this year.
Overall: 8/10
Summary: RBs and WRs have high potential but low floors on this team. Sean has come so close to a championship in 3 separate playoff runs, can he finally break through this year? Not having a bye hurts his chances but this is a well-balanced team led by his TEs.
Overall Points: 40/50
#3 Seed: Iowa City Mo – Marie Ohlinger
8-6 Record: Waffle Division Champ
1st Playoff Appearance (2023)
1-0 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: NA
QB: Even in a perceived down year, Josh Allen has still be the #1 QB. His worse game this year came back in Week 1 of the season. Can’t do a whole lot better than him this year, that’s for sure. And if Marie makes it past the first round – Chargers and Patriots await.
Overall: 10/10
RB: Etienne and White have been a great 1+2 punch this year and can consistently be counted on to provide 25 points between the two of them. Singletary, Charbonnet, and Chandler are all depth pieces in need of an injury to be productive.
Overall: 8.5/10
WR: Even though he lost his QB a few weeks ago, Chase has still remained fantasy relevant. Aiyuk has taken a jump this year and transformed into a legit #1 WR. Puka Nacua has been the fantasy surprise star of 2023 – $22 for him was the wisest investment anyone has made on a waiver claim this year.Demario Douglas plays on the Patriots, so he’s not a factor at all.
Overall: 9/10
TE: Trey McBride has been serviceable this year and Dalton Kincaid has been the better TE option in Buffalo between him and Dawson Knox. McBride is pivotal to Marie’s chances in the playoffs. Since Kyler Murray has been back, he’s been an elite choice at TE. The question is, can he continue it?
Overall: 7.5/10
D/ST and K: 3 D/STs are housed on this team and none are particularly exciting. Bengals, Eagles, and Broncos have all had good games and all have been shredded to pieces at various points this year. Can Marie pick the right one? Dustin Hopkins has been the #2 kicker in fantasy this year. He’s about as reliable as they come.
Overall: 7.5/10
Summary: Marie had a very strong rookie season that was built with a strong draft and very strong waiver wire action and culminated in a division title and the #3 seed in the playoffs. She has a well-balanced team that is capable of scoring 120+ with ease. However, she has been iffy the last few weeks, losing some games that she should’ve won. Her lowest point total came in Week 1 of the season, which corresponds to Allen’s lowest point total. How he goes, she’ll go in the playoffs.
Overall Points: 42.5/50
#2 Seed: Saqoun Deez Nuts – Ethan Maas
10-4 Record: Sausage Division Champ
5th Playoff Appearance (2015, 2017, 2020, 2022, and 2023)
2-4 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: 2nd, 2015
QB: Herbert is on the IR and out for the season but getting Matthew Stafford as your backup with the rest of your FAAB was the best move left available to you. Rams have been battling this year and Stafford still enjoys great weapons in LA so if he can carry you throughout the playoffs, great. Injury risk is still there though.
Overall: 7.5/10
RB: Great name brands in Barkley and Pollard have led to middling results this year. They both have been good, just not 1st/2nd round good. James Cook has done a decent job in Buffalo without them ever actually committing to the run game there. Zack Moss has been hit or miss in Indy with Taylor being out. Great names, but can they deliver when needed the most?
Overall: 8/10
WR: Deebo showed last week against my team that few have a higher ceiling when everything is clicking. Thank goodness Ethan was on a bye this week or not having Keenan would’ve been a severe blow. He might follow Herbert’s lead and call off the rest of the season, especially after the debacle that was TNF.Meyers, Thielen, and Jeudy are all just depth pieces who need a TD to be relevant.
Overall: 6/10
TE: Njoku is one tough son of a gun since he got better after he got half of his face burned off. That man can cook! Just, you know, not really. Conklin is stuck in the abyss that is the Jets offense.
Overall: 8.5/10
D/ST and K: Ravens have been the #2 D/ST this year but the playoff schedule is horrible and they will be unplayable with games against the 49ers and Dolphins. The Falcons have a decent Week 16 matchup against the Colts so that’ll have to do instead. McPherson is a solid kicker and fairly reliable on a decent offense. Nothing truly stands out here.
Overall: 7/10
Summary: One week ago, Ethan was in a great position with his team. Losing Herbert and potentially Allen for the rest of the season changes the calculation significantly. Can he overcome those two losses in pursuit of his first title? Pollard and Barkley will have to rediscover their magic to have any chance of that happening.
Overall Points: 37/50
#1 Seed: Left Handed Corn Dogz – Alex Annan
10-4 Record: Bacon Division Champ
5th Playoff Appearance (2017, 2018, 2020, 2022, and 2023)
1-4 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: 2nd, 2017
QB: C.J. Stroud was a great trade but now he’s dealing with a concussion? Thank goodness for the bye week as he probably won’t play this week but should be back the following week. Alex doesn’t have another QB on his roster so I’m going to rate this position with the expectation that Stroud will be healthy and ready to roll in Week 16.
Overall: 8.5/10
RB: Montgomery has done well in a RB timeshare role in Detroit. Kyren Williams has been one of the few bright spots in LA’s offense this year and a great draft pick at the round he went. Najee Harris should no longer be considered a top-tier RB in this league going forward. Alex also has D’Onta Foreman but who knows what the Bears are going to use in their RB backfield every week. You’ll have better luck predicting when the universe will explode.
Overall: 8/10
WR: Uhhh, maybe you can use some of your $99 in FAAB money to spend on a WR? Remember, you can’t take it with you! If everyone was healthy, Jefferson, Moore and Collins would be a great 1+2+3 punch that few teams could match. However, they are all dealing with injuries right now (thank god for the bye week). Michael Thomas is a shell of his former selfand Jonathan Mingo is just here having a good time on the 1-win Panthers. Noah Brown is also questionable to play.
Overall: 8/10 (could be anywhere from a 4-9.5 depending on health)
TE: Darren Waller has missed his usual amount of games this year but should be back just in time to get hurt again and ruin Alex’s chances in the playoffs. Kidding! Jonnu Smith is actually a better TE than Kyle Pitts if you listen to Arthur Smith on a consistent basis.
Overall: 6/10
D/ST and K: The Cowboys D/ST has been on fire this year but have been prone to busts as well as many booms. Week 16/17 brings two prolific offenses to face off against them with the Dolphins and my Lions. We’ll see if they can hold up against those opponents. Justin Tucker has been slightly worse this year than previous years but is still better than 95% of the other kickers in the NFL.
Overall: 9.5/10
Summary: A really strong draft propelled Alex to a well-balanced team but injuries are rearing their ugly head at the most inopportune time. He really needs Stroud and Jefferson to sit out this week and return healthy next week otherwise, it could be a quick playoff trip for him in 2023.
Overall Points: 40/50
Final Rankings and Predictions
Let’s review the individual position rankings, shall we? And then we’ll get into my round by round predictions!
QB
RB
WR
TE
K, D/ST
Total
Dobbsy is a free Elf
4.0
8.0
9.5
8.5
6.5
36.5
Team Suspension
9.5
9.5
5.5
4.5
9.5
38.5
Crazy Train
9.5
6.5
6.0
10.0
8.0
40.0
Iowa City Mo
10.0
8.5
9.0
7.5
7.5
42.5
Saqoun Deez Nuts
7.5
8.0
6.0
8.5
7.0
37.0
Left Handed Corn Dogz
8.5
8.0
8.0
6.0
9.5
40.0
Marie has the best QB, Kaelan has the best RB, Aaron has the best WR, Sean has the best TE, and both Kaelan and Alex have the best D/ST/K. With that being said – time for the predictions.
1st Round: Team Suspension vs. Crazy Train
2 second place finishers in their respective divisions. They met in Week 11 this year with Crazy Train taking the dub then. 3 championships vs. 3 runner-up finishes. It’s going to be closebut I’ll have to go with the team that has the higher potential in this matchup. 118.24-115.66. Team Suspension wins
1st Round: Dobbsy is a free Elf vs. Iowa City Mo
In what is essentially the first playoff appearance for both teams, they both roll in with championship-contender rosters. They’re pretty even across the board EXCEPT for the QB position. That’s going to be the difference in this game. 127.24-118.36. Iowa City Mo wins
2nd Round: Left Handed Corn Dogz. Vs. Team Suspension
Alex’s team will be back at full strength for this matchup, but I have a feeling it’s not going to matter. Kaelan’s team smells blood in the water and nothing is going to stop him in his pursuit of another title. It’s going to be a statement game. 145.98-118.32. Team Suspension wins
2nd Round: Saqoun Deez Nuts vs. Iowa City Mo
Just like with Alex’s team, Ethan’s team is also going to use the bye week to get healthy. Unlike Alex’s team though, Ethan’s team is going to spend the week with Connor Stallions deciphering Marie’s signals in pursuit of a victory. This will not work. Yet another upset happens. 108.40-99.66. Iowa City Mo wins
Championship: Team Suspension vs. Iowa City Mo
3 Championships vs. a first-time playoff opponent? On paper, it looks like it’ll be a bloodbath. However, I believe that Josh Allen is going lit up the Patriots in Week 17 and Hurts is going to struggle against an easy opponent in the Cardinals. Everything else being equal, Marie is going to stop Thanos from collecting yet another infinity stone and will save the Breakfast League universe (at least for another year). 124.46-121.30. Iowa City Mo wins
Comments