BLPR Week 4 2024
Note: All rises and falls in the standings are relative to my preseason rank.
12. Cousins Hurts So Good: 0-3, +0 (296.38 PF)
Last Week: Loss vs Team Suspension 92.54 - 117.06
The Haters said this team couldn’t do it, and they were right. Honestly, good call by the haters. Jason has yet to get a win in the Breakfast League, leading to an 0-3 start. When I look at this roster, I don’t see it getting any better. Other than Saquon, who looks great on his new team, and Hurts, who is a great fantasy QB, there aren’t any great players on this team. Aiyuk continues to be a diva, Ridley is washed, and Ford’s time is coming when Chubb returns. And even if Engram comes back from injury, the Jags look awful this year. Even the two best players on this team hinder each other more than they help, since Hurts will just steal Barkley’s rushing TD’s. There is a big opportunity to get a win this week against another bad team in RJ’s, and it’s a must win situation if this team even wants to think about sniffing the playoffs.
11. Hock Tua: 1-2, -8 (283.46 PF)
Last Week: Win vs Crazy Train 110.12 - 71.72
This team was clearly my biggest miss in my preseason rank, falling 8 spots from the beginning of the season. The only thing saving them from last was their win last week with a respectable score. If she were spittin’ on this roster, it’s be on the ground, not on that thang, because it’s a total miss other than Josn Allen, who carried the team. OK, St. Brown and London were WR2 level, but you need more out of at least 1 of them. Meanwhile, the RB’s make me want to barf. White is soon going to be upended by Bucky Irving, and Williams has been a nonfactor. RJ had better hope one of his rookie RB’s on his bench breaks out soon, because Josh Allen can only lubricate this limp dick team so much.
10. Hubbard’s Cupboards: 2-1, -1 (291.16 PF)
Last Week: win vs do ya feel the Breece 136.58 - 92.98
Sorry Aaron, but this is the fakest 2-1 start I’ve seen. Just like the Chiefs fake 3-0 start aided by the zebras, Aaron got aided by a .28 margin of victory in which he only scored 89.34 and a random 41 point performance by Jauan Jennings of all people. Neither of these feats are particularly replicable. This finally looks like Kelce’s dropoff year, and Mahomes is struggling to find another security blanket in Kelce’s focus on his girlfriend instead of football. Finally, it’s very sad when your best RB plays for the Panthers (although, Dalton???). Hubbard's Cupboards has maybe a can of beans in it and a spider chilling in the corner at best.
9. A Green Bean: 0-3, +2 (302.6 PF)
Last Week: Loss vs Tory Taylor MVP 80.8 - 97.28
Speaking of beans, Alex’s team is that lonely can in the cupboard with the cobwebs. It’s where Alex keeps all his wins thus far, totaling a big fat zero. This team isn’t any worse than say Aaron’s or RJ’s though, just a bit less luck since they should be at least 1-2 after putting up the 3rd best score in week 2 and having a massive 406.8 PA. The other two weeks with losses weren’t anything special though, so they’re not that unlucky. This team has been all about the Stroud-Collins connection, and it has looked potent when it’s been on. Alongside two 49ers in Kittle (back from injury) and Mason (fuck Kyle Shanahan) I expect this team to get a win soon even though they’re overindexed in Niners and Texans. They’re just this low in the PR because they haven’t yet.
8. Crazy Train: 2-1, -4 (288.08)
Last Week: Loss vs Hock Tua 71.72 - 110.12
Speaking of fake 2-1 records, here’s exhibit B. Sean had a good start in week 1, but has failed to break 100 in the past 2 weeks and has the 2nd lowest PF in the league. Despite that, he got a win in 1 of those 2 against Daren. I just don’t know if he can sustain that winning pace against the non-Charmin soft Sausage division, which has the 12, 11th, 10th, and 8th PF so far this year. If (and that’s a big if) he can survive and get Puka and CMC back from injury in a few weeks, this team instantly looks scary. But until then, Sean’s best players are Rome Odunze an Dak Prescott. Wobbly tracks are inbound.
7. do ya feel the Breece: 1-2, +1 (298.96 PF)
Last Week: Loss vs Hubbard’s Cupboards 92.98 - 136.58
You’ll notice I haven’t had a lot of nice things to say about the Sausage division teams so far. That trend doesn’t stop, as this is the highest I’ve got one in the PR, and it’s almost by default. The thing this team has that the others don’t in the division are actual RB’s - Connor and Hall are studs. Mooney has actually looked decent with Cousins throwing to him as well. After that though, having to start Danny Pennies, king of the checkdown, because Love is hurt sucks. I can see the pieces in this team, and somebody’s gotta win the Sausage division. Ethan would have just liked a better start there, considering the tougher competition ahead.
6. Team Suspension: 1-2, -4 (314.26 PF)
Last Week: Win vs Hurts So Good 117.06 - 92.54
Kaelan was dooming hard after his 0-2 start, but it’s not all that bad for this team IMO. Marvin Harrison is the real deal, and he looked like a stud catching balls from Kyler Murray. When the Bengals get their shit together, this team will be fine. Having 3 players from the same team is always a risk, and their slow start has slowed team Suspension. However, the offense was fine last week, it was just the defense that couldn’t get a stop. That reflected in the win column for Kaelan, and I expect that the Bengals will also get back on track against the lowly Panthers. The Pacheco injury certainly didn’t help this team either. Can Kaelan get back on track this week in the same way? We’ll see, but it is a tough matchup this week.
5. Tory Taylor MVP: 2-1, +5 (307.38 PF)
Last Week: Win vs A Green Bean 97.28 - 80.8
Funnily enough, Marie’s best scoring week was the week she lost. Actually, this has probably been the most consistently average team so far - no great weeks, but no stinkers. She’s got the players to back it up though, and I can see a big game coming soon. Lamar and Lamb are the headliners, but Rice, Robinson, and Singletary are solid starters as well. Finally, Bowers looks to be the next great rookie TE, if only he has a QB throwing to him. Just like Tory consistently punting inside the 20, this team has been consistent so far, good enough for 2-1.
4. Counterattack!: 2-1, -3 (336.9 PF)
Last Week: Win vs C’mon Son! 118.78 - 74.58
After getting bamboozled by Kyle Shanahan week 1, I’ve done my best to turn it around. I suppose things needed to look dire before I could turn it around in the true spirit of the Counterattack!, putting up an above average score the last 2 weeks. Also, in case you missed it, CMC is no longer on my team, as I completed a trade with Sean. OK, Tyreek has his own problems, being QBless for several weeks, but I’m still more than OK at RB, and the trade helped me shore up WR some. Just in time too, with Adams out with a “hamstring” (i.e. getting traded to the Jets). McLauren looked to have some great chemistry with Jayden Daniels as well. If my WR’s can start hitting alongside my RB’s and Kyler Murray, watch out.
3. The Brockness Monster: 2-1, +3 (332.38 PF)
Last Week: Loss vs Mr. Rodgers’ Naber-hood 100.18 - 151.94
I owe Daren an apology, as in the preseason rankings, I failed to acknowledge this sick team name. I suppose my camera just wasn’t good enough to capture this elusive beast! Speaking of sick, this team’s start has been excellent as well, scoring over 100 each week. Last week was the worst thus far, but even hitting the average wouldn’t have been good enough in the matchup, so it was fine to put up a bit of a “dud”. Who knew that Kamara would still be putting up 40+ in 2024? The truly great ones always find a way, I guess. Alongside Justin Jefferson, those two have been the stars carrying this team so far. And with Kenneth Walker back this week and Purdy getting his weapons back, I expect this team to bounce back as well.
2. C’mon Son!: 2-1, +3 (369.62 PF)
Last Week: Loss vs Counterattack! 74.58 - 118.78
Connor came crashing down to earth last week after a blazing start, putting up a league high 170 points week 1 - a near league low of only 75. More concerning was Kyren Williams putting up almost half of that total with 30 points by himself. JK Dobbins and Rashid Shaheed both came back down to earth hard in the same week, and Richardson still looked like me playing QB half the time. But we’ve seen this roster’s potential, and one bad week won’t keep them down long. I assume. Probably. Anyway, Connor’s a good enough manager to make the necessary adjustments going into next week.
1. Mr. Rodgers’ Naber-hood: 3-0. +4 (381.44 PF)
You all knew this was coming. 3-0 and highest PF in the league? Oh yeah, it’s a beautiful day in the Naber-hood alright. He may not have the best QB, but he’s got one that can throw 5 yard outs and 8 yard slants over. And over. And over. Yes, I am slightly tilted about Thursday night, can you tell? The concussion will be a temporary concern, though. Elsewhere, Daniels is looking like the rookie of the year so far with his performance, and Gibbs is a stud as well (when not having his TD’s stolen). Finally, Taylor is a team-proof stud that you need to be at the top. And having an S-tier team name on top of all that? It’s a damn good day to be alive for Kenny Pancake.
Next Week’s Preview
Game of the Week
This is the outcome I’m most interested in this week, so it gets my choice for game of the week. I couldn’t call this one, and the projections agree with me - only 1 point apart after Thursday night’s games. Kaelan needs this one more though after the 1-2 start, whereas Marie is 2-1.
Kenny is off to a good start against me after Thursday night, and I expect him to take this one. I’m hoping to make it close, though.
Looking back a couple hours, I’m surprised I ranked Crazy Train as high as I did. Oh well, I expect Connor to bounce back this week and take this one easily.
Another top 3 team coming off a loss that I expect to bounce back. I think Daren takes this one over Ethan.
One team overperforming against the other one underperforming. Alex gets his first win on the board here against Aaron easily.
Aka, the toilet bowl. I would make this game of the week as a joke, but there are too many other good matchups. The Bills play an actual defense this week in the Ravens, so I’ll take Jason to get his first win here.
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