Welcome to my opinion piece.
The Breakfast League, as I've mentioned, is entering its fifth year of existence. This is quite remarkable, really - to retain more than half of the original league, and retain all 12 owners from the previous season? Amazing.
It says a lot about the quality of the league. Whether it's the competitiveness (let's not forget that two-thirds of the league were either playing for or had locked up a playoff spot in the final week of the 2017 regular season), the camaraderie (the Facebook trash-talking is the stuff of legend), the rivalries (Kaelan Carlson is the Cleveland Browns of the Breakfast League, MARK MY WORDS!!!), or all the perks (ranging from a website to power rankings to Al Ohlinger's Bubble Tracker Technology), the Breakfast League dominates in every way possible.
So, can such a great league get even better? I believe it can.
As it turns out, there's another fantasy football league in the Omaha area (or, rather, there was) that was featured on national morning shows and many an ESPN feature. It was the tattoo league - at the end of each year, the winner would pick a tattoo design, and the loser would... well... sport that tattoo.
Am I saying we sign a pact that the loser gets a bronie tattoo? No. However, what I am saying is that with a few more touches, this league could get EVEN. MORE. FUN. With just a touch of hilariousness. Here are five simple steps that keep our current game format, but could add a little more entertainment:
1. A penalty for the loser. After all, what's the use of the consolation ladder if there isn't something to attain for (that is, to not finish in last)? Some leagues have their last-place finishers wear shirts with unicorns that say something to the effect of, "I suck at fantasy football." Some get tattoos, as mentioned above. Others create other hilarious traditions that last for years. Sometimes the details are chosen by the champion, or the winner of the consolation bracket. The punishment may last an hour, or a whole year. I even heard of one 13-man league that kicked the last place finisher out for the entirety of the following season (afterwards, they would replace THAT last-place finisher). The point is: we must punish our slackers.
2. Go public. The website has helped this idea. But it could go further. Could it be a public Facebook and Twitter page? Could it just be spreading the website around? Who knows. But just think: what if the owners of the league could be stars, just like the players?
3. A prize for best of the consolation ladder. Even more motivation to do well in the postseason? Maybe a slight change in the payouts is in order, to at least equal the pay-in, if one fights through the postseason to win the consolation ladder. Otherwise, it's just boring.
4. Rivalries. Other than the Kaelan/Kenneth battle (and perhaps the Dogchow/Pancake rivalry), do we really have iconic rivals in our league? Maybe Gaede/Green? I'm not feeling it. Where's the hate, fellas?
5. SOME MORE CREATIVE WAY TO PICK THE DRAFT ORDER.
Come on guys. By random choice? Do we really want a third year in a row where Sean Alumbaugh takes Eddie Lacy with the first overall pick of the draft???
Some leagues race rubber ducks down rivers. Some play video game tournaments. Some use other methods. The point is that a random selection is the most boring thing I can think of to pick the order of picks.
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That's all I got! Have a great Independence Day, and research away! Remember: the Holiest of Days, DRAFT DAY, is just 44 days, 17 hours, 42 minutes and 44... 43... 42 seconds away.
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