Twas the night before playoffs, when all through the league
Six teams all gathered, filled with intrigue.
The lineups were set, each player chosen with care
In hopes that big scoring, soon would be there.
League members were nestled, all snug in their beds
While visions of touchdowns danced in their heads.
When on the league Facebook arose such clatter
Everyone logged on to see what was the matter.
Away to the game thread I flew like a flash
What drama this week would cause keyboards to mash?
Oh wait it’s just someone, complaining about,
Injuries to their RB’s so they’re out.
When what with my wondering eyes did I see?
But a stupid shitpost, and a fresh funny meme.
With a witty subtitle or caption below
It’s the wisecracks like these that cause the laughter to flow.
I hear you yell “Al, get on the with the preview.”
So here’s the names of all the teams I will review.
On Alfred, on Brandon, now Daren and Ethan,
On Alex, on Daniel. (This line lacks cohesion.)
To the top of the standings, to the top now ya’ll
Now rank away, rank away, rank away all!
Guys, I was going to try to do the whole poem, but that thing is 16 stanzas of 4 lines each and is just way too long LOL. Here’s my picks for the playoffs.
ROUND 1
The Crowns are coming in as the Sausage division champs, having just narrowly squeaked by the Cows of Colorado in the final week of the regular season- which means that this is a rematch of last week’s game that was decided by less than one point. Likewise, Alex’s CoC are the Sausage division runner-ups, and won their Week 1 matchup by only 6 points. However, I don’t think the rubber match will be nearly as close as either of the first two. The CvC are my second strongest team coming into the playoffs, while the CoC are #6. Derrick Henry only put up a season-low 5.4 last week against the Browns’ stellar run D to keep it close, but that won’t happen again this week against Jacksonville. I’m taking the CvC to advance past the first round.
Two good friends are set to battle it out for the first time since week 1, when Dan beat Daren handily off the back of a strong draft vs. a weaker one. Daren later found his feet though to come out on top of the Bacon division, and this team is completely different from the one then. Coming into the playoffs, I’d rank BBBB as the strongest team and MLCD as the 3rd strongest. Their first matchup was one of only three weeks that Christian McCaffery was available all season, but once again, he’s out this week. Had he not been, I’d have been tempted to pick Dan here, who finished second in the Waffle Division. But seeing as he’s not, I’ve got to go with the league leader in PF and super consistent team lately - Daren. I will say though, if Dan can pull the upset and get McCaffery back the next two weeks - watch out. So yeah, for the first time we have 2 extra teams in the playoffs, I think they’ll both be out in the first round.
SEMIFINALS
I was super happy to avoid the Dan/Daren side of the bracket, but Ethan’s team is no slouch. I was able to win the Waffle division with a 9-4 record to win the regular season a full game clear of the field. However, my PF is middle of the pack and I have the lowest PA in the league. So I’d rank myself as only the 4th strongest team coming into the playoffs. In our first matchup, Ethan won a game where both teams scored under 100, and the winning margin was provided on the Deandre Hopkins Hail Mary catch on the last play of the game. I’ll take him again in this one - I’m pretty good at finishing 4th.
Brandon limps into the playoffs and the Eggs division championship on the back of a 3 game losing streak where in all 3 of those games he scored under 101 points. Now to be fair, his opponents went off in all those games, but those are still not great scores and TG1K will need to do better to beat BBBB. Consequently, this is only my 5th strongest team coming into the playoffs, despite the #2 seed and first round bye. However, the game before those 3, Brandon beat Daren with one of his best scores of the year, which shows that it is possible. But I’m taking the hot hand here, Daren, to keep it going and win the matchup. In fact, if Dan were to beat Daren, I would take Dan here as well.
CONSOLATION
No one cares about this and is skipping to see the championship prediction. But here’s all you need to know. In 5 years in this league, I’m 7-0 against Brandon. You know how this goes. I'm predicting that I get 3rd and Brandon finishes 4th.
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
You know, it would be a really fitting end to 2020 to see the team called CoronaVirus Crowns win the league. In their first matchup this year, Daren won a close one. I think the finals will be close again. Ethan has been to the finals before in 2015, but fell short based on losing to a higher-seed 5 point bonus when the regular scoring was tied. (Thank God we got rid of that.) I’m predicting though, that that heartbreak will happen again. Yep, that’s right, newcomer Daren will take the Breakfast League by storm and win a championship in his first year!
And they heard Al say, finished writing this muck -
Happy playoffs to all, and to all you, good luck!
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