A stat to start your fantasy football season: as of next month, half of the Breakfast League will have been, or will then be, married.
I believe the first to be married in our crew was our Assistant Commissioner Alex Annan. In fact, I do think the wedding happened the summer before Alex joined the League, which supports my theory that Alex's top-three-all-time average of over 1,600 points per season is due to input from the REAL McCoy, Brianna Annan.
And then there was Charter Member Aaron Green. He is living proof that marriages certainly have their ups and downs. That was in 2017. The marriage gave him two beautiful kids, a daughter named Runa and a son named Matthjis (hope I spelled that right!). Rock that plaid, my man.
Next up (if I'm counting correctly) was 2015 Champion Brandon Gaede. Brandon also has a pretty cute son who just celebrated his second birthday. As it so happened, I was searching for wedding venues a year ago when I ran across their venue - their pictures were a part of the advertising. They do look pretty good. Okay, Brandon is just 'passable.'
In the summer of 2019, Dan Jackson decided to join in the fun. I think Aubrey's red dress is meant to commemorate all of Dan's fantasy football blood spilled at the hands of the other League members.
And then came me! After dodging the dozens of bullets that were COVID-Caliber, I married the beautiful, out-of-my-league Breana on August 1 (wedding pictures are still pending, but we got sneak-peeks!).
The wedding that will put us at six will be RJ Dechow's marriage next month! Say it with me... "Awwwww..."
So, in this happy age of new beginnings, why am I dredging up a bunch of sappy pictures? And why do I mention 'in sickness?'. Is it because I have to draw everything back to me? Maybe. But it's more apt to the real 'sickness' that is currently enveloping our world - Covid-19.
Now I'm not here to get all political on you (and the League collectively sighs of relief), but it's a consensus that the Coronavirus has changed our world this year. And 'change' is truly the theme of this year's Breakfast League season. Amidst a new member (Daren Lincourt), a new League format (Alex Annan's Great Reformation - four divisions of three members each), the life circumstances that half of us have encountered recently, and finally the uncertainty of any NFL football season at all due to both Covid and the threat of boycotts related to police reform - there isn't much more 'change' you could throw at this season without causing every member to run outside naked, screaming down the street. (No, 2020, that wasn't a dare.)
Perhaps this brings up another marriage that all of us currently enjoy - membership to the Breakfast League.
Kinda crazy to compare? Maybe. But we all have experienced the proverbial 'sickness and health' while members here. For example, I feel sick every time Kaelan Carlson wins a title. We gotta fix that this year, boys. But I never felt healthier than when I won the title (something that I'm sure makes all of YOU sick).
Yet, in times of both sickness and health, we have all stood by the League even when we didn't do so well. Six members have stuck around since 2014 - and nine since 2016. This year will continue to test those bonds. Will the Coronavirus cut the NFL season short? Will the players boycott playing in an attempt to combat perceived police brutality? More importantly, will you all have to endure another year of either Kaelan or I winning it all? Who knows.
Here's what I do know (and that really isn't much):
1) You have to prepare as if you will play every week in the schedule. All the guesswork we put into Covid-19 and race riots can only deter us from our research - or, our fantasy football guesswork. Depends on who you are I guess. If we have a full season, you don't want to be stuck with a terrible roster because you said "F*** it!" at the draft.
2) Either way, take refuge in your League friends. We're all here to have a good time.
3) Most importantly, through it all, hug your loved ones. Because at the end of the day, this is just a game. Invest in your family and, if it applies, your God. Because while the League will only last a finite amount of time... family lasts forever. And between your League marriage and your real marriage... focus on your real one. I promise it'll mean more.
OKAY, that's enough of the sappy stuff. Aren't you interested to see where I think everyone will end up by season's end? It's time for a preview of the season - division by division!!!
BACON DIVISION - Kaelan Carlson, Kenneth Pancake, Daren Lincourt
Poor Daren. He is like the Florida in the S.E.C. of the Breakfast League. With five of the six League titles between them, Carlson and Pancake (that's me!) are like the Alabama and Georgia of this division. And no matter how good Daren can be, can he really defeat the perennial superpowers that be? Maybe he can, but I'll follow the advice of ESPN fantasy guru Matthew Berry: this year, don't trust guys in new places.
Despite that disadvantage, Daren still has a chance of nabbing an at-large spot if he can't win the division. Meanwhile, Kaelan and Kenneth (that's me!) will likely battle it out for the division title. And if League history tells us anything, it says that Kaelan's (likely) two victories against Kenneth will be the difference-maker. Carlson is up on Pancake 7-1 on head-to-head matches all-time.
PREDICTION: Kaelan Carlson 10-3 (Division Title, Auto-Bid), Kenneth Pancake 8-5 (Wild Card), Daren Lincourt 4-9
EGGS DIVISION - Aaron Green, Brandon Gaede, Sean Alumbaugh
This has the potential to be a very competitive division. While Brandon is the only title holder in the bunch, Brandon and Aaron have tied with each other twice in League history. They always play close matches, even if Aaron has dropped seven total games to Brandon. It's also worth mentioning that Sean has finished in the top three of the standings in both of the past two seasons - his last year's campaign put him in the Hall of Fame.
In the end, I believe that cross-divisional play will hurt this division overall, but Brandon will return to the playoffs for the first time since his lone 2015 appearance that won him this division's only title.
PREDICTION: Brandon Gaede 7-6 (Division Title, Auto-Bid), Sean Alumbaugh (6-7), Aaron Green 4-9
WAFFLE DIVISION - Dan Jackson, Al Ohlinger, RJ Dechow
I fear that Dan will be the punching bag in this division - but, I also think that Al and RJ are destined to have a down-year at some point. After all, they both have winning percentages of over 60% all-time (Al wins exactly two thirds of his games, leading the league).
In a six-team playoff, both Al and RJ have the skill to make it in - but one of them will have to make it by wildcard. I was too hesitant to pick one to win the division, but one had to be picked, so...
PREDICTION: Al Ohlinger 8-5 (Division Title, Auto-Bid), RJ Dechow 8-5 (Wild Card), Dan Jackson 5-8
SAUSAGE DIVISION - Alex Annan, Jared Kmiecik, Ethan Maas
This is Alex's year. Paired with the still-adapting Jared and the complete wild-card Ethan, Alex will take the number one seed and the division - no doubt about it. (This is my #PancakeBoldTake of the week, brought to you by Bisquick).
Alex has seen the top of the field in the League before - in 2017, he made it to the title game against Kaelan Carlson. Three guesses as to who won, and the first two don't count.
PREDICTION: Alex Annan 11-2 (Division Title, Auto-Bid), Jared Kmiecik 4-9, Ethan Maas 3-10
PLAYOFFS - #1 Alex Annan, #2 Kaelan Carlson, #3 Al Ohlinger, #4 Kenneth Pancake, #5 RJ Dechow, #6 Brandon Gaede
As a reminder to all, under the Great Reformation, there is no preference to division winners in the seeding process. As voted upon by the League, EVEN IF ESPN were to put the division winners in the top four, I would manually edit it to correspond with record and other tiebreakers as dictated in the ESPN settings.
In addition, the first two seeds get a bye week! This means that week one would feature Ohlinger vs. Gaede and Pancake vs. Dechow.
PREDICTION: #3 Al Ohlinger advances over #6 Brandon Gaede, #5 RJ Dechow advances over #4 Kenneth Pancake
I'm humble enough to admit when I'm outmatched - and RJ owes me one after his defeat at my hands in the 2016 (???) playoffs. How would the next round go?
PREDICTION: #3 Al Ohlinger advances over #2 Kaelan Carlson, #5 RJ Dechow advances over #1 Alex Annan
That's right - the top two seeds are going DOWN! This will set up a priceless rematch of two close, inter-divisional competitors for the title (either would win their first).
So there it is! If the season is cancelled, you can take my word for it.
Hope you enjoyed! Stay tuned for further updates regarding Covid-19, race riots ONLY as they pertain to the NFL, and more!
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