Article by RJ Dechow
Uploaded by Al Ohlinger
Playoff Preview
With the regular season finally wrapped, the playoff field is set. Two-time champion Kenneth “Panflop” Pancake headlines the field along with returning champ Connor “Choo Choo” Gibson. The challengers? Alex “$!&#” Annan, RJ “Dogchow” Dechow, Dan “Zero RB Strategy” Jackson Jr., and Ethan “Somebody had to win the Sausage Division” Maas. Before we get into the championship contenders, we must first pay our respects to those who are no longer with us, besides Mike Leach (RIP Air Raid offense).
In Memoriam
Team Suspension: A host of trades and wheeling and dealing wasn’t enough to keep this season afloat. A sleeper trade for Hopkins appeared to give this team some wind heading into the final stretch but a season-ending injury to Cooper Kupp ended those hopes in Week 10. Kaelan’s only hope for happiness the rest of this year is to see his archrival Kenny lose in the playoffs. Nothing else will do it.
Baker’s Dozen: Has there been a team with worse luck in a season than this legit title contender? After a heartbreaking loss by 0.08 points in Week 6 to Redacted, a 2nd chance appeared in Week 14 when Redacted lost his game opening the door for Baker’s Dozen to sneak into the playoffs with a win. However, a horrible MNF game that resulted in Stevenson being knocked out early crushed this team’s chance of making the playoffs and Redacted f****d over Daren twice in one year. Next year’s matchup will be must-watch TV.
I’m Really Feeling It: Al was so sure of the team he had constructed that he put himself #2 in the preseason rankings. Only *Brian Ferentz was more full of himself this year than Al (harsh but you are my rival so I don’t care 😊). A late season push for the playoffs ended at the hands of the person writing this article and that should be the fuel that Al needs in order to push for a playoff spot next year.
Kittle bit of CHAOS: The league’s longest playoff drought extends another year and this one really hurt as a team that hit its stride late in the year had a good chance of winning the division. A loss in Week 13 to eventual division champ Ethan Maas means that Aaron will have all offseason to wonder what if. Good news is that he learned not to draft Chiefs’ players and it served him well. Follow that template and that playoff streak will be broken in no time! FYI, this team is my pick to win the Consolation bracket – go Aaron!
Connor Party: A promising team ended as soon as he stopped changing his lineups. Now the only question is will somebody be able to get ahold of Jared to have him return to the league next year? He is currently MIA from the looks of his team.
Crazy Train: The preseason #1 ended up #11 in the initial playoff seeding proving that Al doesn’t know what he’s doing when it comes to preseason predictions 😉. Eventually, this team will win a title. Just not this year as Sean was never really able to hit his stride and string together a few wins. A highlight of his season was upsetting Redacted in Week 11 which allowed the craziness of Week 14 to transpire!
The Playoff Squads
Now for what everyone (or at least 6 of us anyway) is waiting for, a breakdown on each of the playoff contenders! We’ll start with the lowest seed first. Each team’s positions will be broken down and dissected like a frog to determine who has the best chance to win it all or die trying.
#6 Seed: Make Fantasy Great Again – Ethan Maas
6-8 Record: Sausage Division Champ
4th Playoff Appearance (2015, 2017, 2020, and 2022)
2-3 Playoff Record (in games that actually counted towards the championship)
Highest Finish: 2nd, 2015
QB: Dak Prescott, Tom Brady – Dak has looked good since coming back from injury but with the Cowboy’s offense looking lethal each week, the chance for him to pass for a ton of yards isn’t as likely. Brady is looking every bit of 45 years old and divorced and is not worth trusting.
Overall: 6.5/10
RB: Najee Harris, Josh Jacobs, James Connor, Cordarrelle Patterson – RB is Ethan’s strength with both Harris and Connor coming around the last few weeks. However, Jacobs is banged up with a dislocated pinkie finger which could affect his performance and availability this week. Ethan needs him healthy in order to have the best chance of an upset.
Overall: 7.5/10 (8.5 with Jacobs healthy)
WR: Terry McLaurin, Tyler Lockett, Christian Kirk, Tyler Boyd, Joshua Palmer – solid but unspectacular group of WRs. Lockett has performed the best with McLaurin finding hope with Heinike under center for Washington. The wildcard is Kirk who has been hit or miss this season. A true boom/bust WR room that could go for 60 points combined or get you a solid 25.
Overall: 6/10
TE: Tyler Higbee, Austin Hooper, Juwan Johnson – a hodgepodge of TEs hasn’t helped Ethan find success here with Johnson ranking the best this season at #14 but who is currently out and might not play this weekend. This is a TD or bust room and Ethan needs someone to score a TD
Overall: 4/10
K and D/ST: Jason Myers, Cowboys D/ST, Rams D/ST – Myers has done well for a high-scoring Seahawks offense, scoring at least 6 points in every game but one this year (Week 2 where he scored just 1). The Cowboys D/ST has been the #1 ranked D/ST this year and has been a huge part of Ethan’s success. A fairly easy Week 15 matchup against the Jaguars might be enough for them to score big points.
Overall: 9.5/10
Summary: Ethan has had success in the playoffs previously but faces an uphill battle, especially with a team that only scored the 8th most points in the league this year and played in the easiest division. Could be in line for an upset or two if things break his way. I’m sure he’s just happy to be here though.
Overall Points: 33.5/50 (34.5 with Jacobs healthy)
#5 Seed: *TeamName Redacted* - Alex Annan
7-7 Record: Bacon Division #3
4th Playoff Appearance (2017, 2018, 2020, and 2022)
1-3 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: 2nd, 2017
QB: Josh Allen, Trevor Lawrence – Allen was playing on another world earlier this season but has since come back down. Alex would prefer he goes back to that other planet for the playoffs. This week might be tough sledding (haha pun) with half a foot of snow expected to fall during the game Saturday so Allen may not be as effective. Lawrence has come on as of late, but seriously, would you start Lawrence over Allen in a playoff matchup? Even Dan Campbell doesn’t have the balls to do that.
Overall: 9/10
RB: Austin Ekeler, Travis Etienne, Darrell Henderson, JaMycal Hasty – 3 weeks ago Alex had two of the best RBs playing. Now? Etienne is going through the rookie slump and there is nothing behind him. Ekeler is a stud, but he can’t do it alone. Alex needs Etienne to figure his crap out and play up to his ability. 32 yards on 17 carries is not going to do it.
Overall: 6.5/10
WR: Amon-Ra St. Brown, Chris Olave, Adam Thielen, Mike Evans, Devin Duvernay – Alex has great depth at the WR spot with St. Brown being his clear-cut #1 WR. Olave has been a great rookie WR but Evans needs to pick it up. Thielen and Duverany are solid Flex options but probably won’t see the field during the playoffs unless an injury happens.
Overall: 8.5/10
TE: T.J. Hockenson, Evan Engram – Having the #3 and #4 TE on your roster is a great thing to have. Both are heavily involved in their offenses and don’t just need a TD in order to be relevant. Just have to make sure you pick the right one each week, a decision that could cause you sleepless nights as to what happened Sunday when Engram when off for over 30 points.
Overall: 9/10
K, D/ST: Nick Folk, Robbie Gould, Ravens D/ST – Having two defenses makes sense but two kickers? That’s a waste of a roster space here. Both are solid options but one will work just fine. The Ravens D/ST has been solid this year too, scoring positive points in every game. Can’t argue with that.
Overall: 7/10
Summary: On paper, this is a loaded team and one that scored the 2nd most points in the league this year. On the other hand, it has also had inexplicable losses and needed an injury-filled MNF game to secure his spot in the playoffs. One nugget of information – this team didn’t score below 106 points in its first 9 games this season. Since then? It has only scored above 106 once in route to a 2-3 record over those games.
Overall Points: 40/50
#4 Seed: Koo Koo Ka Choo – Connor Gibson
9-5 Record: Bacon Division #2
2nd Playoff Appearance (2021 and 2022)
3-0 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: 1st, 2021
QB: Patrick Mahomes – Only one QB on this team? Yeah, it’s probably fine with it is Mahomes. There has been no one better at the position this year than Kermit himself and that has been a huge reason why Connor has been able to replicate his success from last year.
Overall: 10/10
RB: Brian Robinson, J.K. Dobbins, Antonio Gibson, Michael Carter, Rachaad White, Samaje Perine, Jordan Mason – 7 RBs litter this roster and yet, none of them are a clear cut #1 back and depending on the matchup only a few might qualify as a #2. Picking the right mix week in and week out is very risky with the best (Gibson) only ranking as the #20 RB this season. Proceed at your own risk.
Overall: 3.5/10
WR: Justin Jefferson, Chris Godwin, Zay Jones, Curtis Samuel, Parris Campbell – Well will you look at that, another #1 position player, this time Jefferson of the Vikings (who torched my beloved Lions last week but I digress). Godwin has been steady for the unsteady Bucs this season and Zay Jones is coming on as of late. But it is the Jefferson show here for the time being and he’ll have to continue his dominance for Connor to make another push in the playoffs.
Overall: 7.5/10
TE: Travis Kelce, Hayden Hurst – Wait, what!?! A 3rd top player at his position??? Yes folks, Connor has Kelce who has been the best TE in the game this year and proves that picking him in the 2nd round was a steal. Hurst is just here because Connor needs to fill his IR spot, right?
Overall: 10/10
K, D/ST: Cameron Dicker, Eagles D/ST – Dicker the Kicker has the best name in the NFL in my opinion and plays on a now lethal Chargers offense so he should continue to get plenty of dicking, I mean kicking opportunities coming up. The Eagles are currently the 4th best defense out there and have been a good matchup regardless of who they are playing.
Overall: 8/10
Summary: Connor’s team is very, very top heavy. But it’s a good thing when the top is comprised of Mahomes, Kelce, and Jefferson. If those 3 guys can get a combined 60-70 points, Connor can easily find another 50-60 among his other 6 players and that will keep him in most of the games coming up. If any one of those 3 have a down game, watch out. He doesn’t have the depth to make up the difference.
Overall Points: 39/50
#3 Seed: San Diego State Fightin Araizas – Dan Jackson Jr.
10-4 Record: Waffle Division #2
2nd Playoff Appearance (2020 and 2022)
2-1 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: 2nd, 2020
QB: Kirk Cousins, Derek Carr – Both Cousins and Carr have had their moments this year where they are a top-5 QBs for the week. Then both put up absolute clunkers where you wonder why you have them on your team. It’s Russian roulette to the max. Good news is that Cousins doesn’t play another primetime game during the fantasy playoffs so there’s that. Still doesn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Overall: 5.5/10
RB: David Montgomery, Zonovan Knight, Kareem Hunt – Only 3 RBs are on Dan’s team right now and just like Connor, none are a RB1. Montgomery and Knight are solid but play on offenses that tend to play more from behind than they would like, which leads to less rushing attempts. If he can get 25 points between the two, that’s a win.
Overall: 5/10
WR: Davante Adams, A.J. Brown, Ja’Marr Chase, Chase Claypool, Mack Hollins – One WR1, check. Two WR1s? Check, check. Three WR1s!?!?!? Check, check, check. Now that those three guys are healthy, that is this team’s strength. All three play on offenses where they are the main focal point. And as I can attest, when one or two of them go off, you’re not going to win and you will get blown out.
Overall: 10/10
TE: Taysom Hill, Foster Moreau, Dawson Knox, Darren Waller – Yeesh, 4 TEs on your roster is never a good sign of the quality at the position. Hill presents the highest upside of the 4 but still is not a reliable option. He can go off for 20 points or he can get you 0.2. Dan hopes that he gets the 20. The saving grace here is that Waller is supposed to come back from being on the IR for a few weeks so if he can advance past the first round, he might have a top-5 TE the rest of the playoffs.
Overall: 6/10
K, D/ST – Justin Tucker, Broncos D/ST, Patriots D/ST – A god amongst kickers and who kicked my Lions in their nuts last year with the longest record FG, Justin Tucker is the #1 kicker in fantasy this year. The Broncos D/ST and the Patriots D/ST are both solid options and being able to flex between the two depending on the matchup is a great place to be.
Overall: 10/10
Summary: Dan’s team, just like Connor’s, represents extreme highs and lows of what points they can score each week. In Dan’s case, he needs his 3 stud WRs to go off in order to keep pace with his opponent. However, there have been cases where each one of them has laid a dud this year and one of those duds now will sink this team when it matters the most. I’d give it... a 1 in 3 chance of happening (get it, because there’s 3 of them? Ok that was a dumb joke, sorry)
Overall Points: 36.5/50
#2 Seed: It Just Means Moore – Kaelan’s Rival
10-4 Record: Bacon Division Champ
5th Playoff Appearance (2014, 2016, 2018, 2021, 2022)
4-2 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: 1st, 2016 and 2018
QB: Jalen Hurts – Hurts, don’t it? A lot of us probably thought that there was no way Hurts was going to get better from last season and in fact, he might even take a step back. That WAS NOT the case. Arguably the MVP this season, Hurts has been laying the pain on opposing teams and as the #2 QB in the league, gives Kenny a great chance of scoring 30 points each week out of the QB position.
Overall: 10/10
RB: Christian McCaffrey, Saquon Barkley, D’Onta Foreman, Khalil Herbert – As I’m writing this right now, McCaffrey currently has 17.7 points against the Seahawks and it’s not even the end of the 1st half yet. Drafting with Kenny all those months ago, I could see the sparkle in his eyes when he realized that McCaffrey had dropped into his lap after slipping in the draft. Big mistake league. Barkley has slowed down from his torrid start (maybe as a result of getting tired from carrying the Giants this season?) Foreman is a solid Flex option but is dependent on Carolina not getting blown out by halftime.
Overall: 9.5/10
WR: Mike Williams, Marquise Brown, Gabe Davis, DJ Moore, George Pickens, Van Jefferson – Ugh, you’re welcome for Mike Williams, kinda wish I had him right now. There’s solid options here but Williams, Davis, and Pickens represents a high ceiling, low floor type of players. Picking the right mix week in, week out is difficult. His team’s namesake hasn’t played the best this year but might be turning a corner at just the right time with, checks notes, Sam Darnold under center. JK, he only scored 0.6 points last week. He still sucks.
Overall: 6/10
TE: Cole Kmet, Dallas Goedert, Daniel Bellinger – Kmet finally scored a TD this year which is amazing and Goedert has been solid while healthy for the Eagles. He’s still on IR but should come back for this week’s game. A solid showing there and Kenny might have a tough decision between the two.
Overall: 7.5/10
K, D/ST – Evan McPherson, Steelers D/ST, Commanders D/ST – Really good kicker on a potent offense (feel like I’ve said that a lot here) and one that, as a fun fact, has been 100% on FGs longer than 50 yards! The Steelers and Commanders D/ST are ok options but since their offenses aren’t the best, they tend to be out on the field a little bit and get worn down by the end of the game. Purely a matchup dependent option here.
Overall: 6.5/10
Summary: Whether Kaelan can realize it or not, Kenny might just have the best chance in the league to win a championship. You have a great mix of high floor players with high ceiling players and a manager that is just crafty enough to put the right combination together to dominate his opponents. It’s almost like he works in politics? Watch out Breakfast League, we might have our second 3 title champ here.
Overall Points: 39.5
#1 Seed: Wilson’s Cougar Hunters – RJ Dechow
11-3 Record: Waffle Division Champ
5th Playoff Appearance (2016, 2018, 2019, 2021, and 2022)
0-4 Playoff Record
Highest Finish: 3rd, 2016
QB: Justin Fields, Deshaun Watson – Waiver wire pickup of the year? Given how putrid my QB situation was prior to his arrival, Justin Fields literally transformed my team midseason from one that would probably make the playoffs and lose in the 1st round to one that got the #1 seed... and will probably lose in the 2nd round. Oh well, I guess I can’t have too nice of things. Watson is a solid backup and hopefully he continues to figure out how to play football at a high level without being able to assault his massage therapist.
Overall: 9/10
RB: Joe Mixon, Tony Pollard, Raheem Mostert, Jeff Wilson, Dameon Pierce, Alexander Mattison, Pierre Strong Jr. – 7 RBs on my team? Yeah, not good Bob, not good. Mixon and Pollard are a solid 1-2 punch but behind them lies questions, sadness, and anger. Wilson/Mostert are not being utilized effectively by the Dolphins, Pierce might be out for the season (Kenny won this trade), Mattison is here just because if Cook goes down he’s a #1 back, and as for Strong? Well, 7 is a lucky number!
Overall: 8/10
WR: Stefon Diggs, Michael Pittman, Christian Watson, Diontae Johnson, Treylon Burks – Diggs was a great draft pick and has been a clear-cut #1 WR this season and the only thing stopping him is snow in Buffalo. Pittman is just so hit or miss with old man Matt Ryan under center but his upside is there. Watson might be 2nd to Fields in my waiver wire pickups this season and as long as he continues to score TDs at an unsustainable rate, he’s in my lineup. Johson and Burks are here just for depth as both have dealt with injuries and ineffectiveness this season.
Overall: 8.5/10
TE: David Njoku – Thank God he is back. My TE started off hairy, got better with (yet another waiver pickup) then got hairy again when Njoku went down for a few weeks and then dealt with an ineffective Watson his first game back. Now that he’s healthy, he might be a top-5 TE the rest of the way. He just needs to stay on the field.
Overall: 8/10
K, D/ST: Tyler Bass, 49ers D/ST – Bass kicks nothing but extra points it feels like for Buffalo’s offense but he’s been the #3 kicker this season. I am still pissed about my first loss to Daren in Week 3 as his missed FG would’ve won me that game. The 49ers have been the #3 D/ST this season and have literally won me a few games in the last seconds keep this season on track. At this point, they are my ride or die.
Overall: 8.5/10
Summary: On paper, this is a dangerous team. Solid starting options at all the different positions with quality depth behind most positions. It’s all about finding the right mix each week at the RB and WR slots. If there is one thing holding this team back, it’s that the pressure is on them to deliver me my first ever playoff win (when it has counted). This team represents my best chance yet to get over that hill.
Overall Points: 42/50
Final Rankings and Predictions
Let’s review the individual position rankings, shall we? And then we’ll get into my round by round predictions!
QBRBWRTEK, D/StTotalMake Fantasy Great Again6.57.56.04.09.533.5*TeamName Redacted*9.06.58.59.07.040.0Koo Koo Ka Choo10.03.57.510.08.039.0San Diego State Fightin Araizas5.55.010.06.010.036.5It Just Means Moore10.09.56.07.56.539.5Wilson's Cougar Hunters9.08.08.58.08.542.0
Connor and Kenny have the best QB spot, Kenny has the best RB, Dan has the best WRs, Choo also has the best TE room, and Dan has the best K, D/ST situation. With that being said – time for the predictions.
1st round: Koo Koo Ka Choo vs. *TeamName Redacted*
Division rivals meet in the playoffs both with championship aspirations. Alex desperately needs Allen to get back to scoring 30+ but I just don’t see it happening with the weather this weekend. Etienne continues to struggle and his team just can’t match the Mahomes/Kelce HyVee connection that has been on our TVs ALL SEASON LONG, like seriously, every commercial break has those two on it somewhere? 125.14 to 105.06 Choo wins
1st round: Make Fantasy Great Again vs. San Diego State Fightin Araizas
I am very intrigued in this matchup. Dan needs his 3 big WRs to carry the day. I think Brown and Chase will help but Adams is going to get shut down by the Pats. Najee Harris continues to come on late this season and Ethan will barely squeak out the upset here. 104.56 to 101.78 Great Again wins
2nd round: Wilson’s Cougar Hunters vs. Koo Koo Ka Choo
On paper, Cougar is the best team (in my biased opinion). However, they have never won a playoff game. Fields plays a tough matchup against the Bills, Mixon gets stuffed by the Pats, and no one else on my team is able to go off. Choo also runs into some scoring issues as Mahomes and Kelce have a rough day and it becomes a classic Big 10 game where neither team wants to score a lot of points – Kirk Ferentz would be proud. 87.48 to 81.56 Choo Wins
2nd round: It Just Means Moore vs. Make Fantasy Great Again
Kenny’s team has a lot of tough matchups this week but gets a saving grace when Davis goes off for 125 yards and 2 TDs against Chicago and Barkley finds his form against a porous Vikings defense. Ethan’s team will continue to keep pace until their last game when Higbee gets shut out against a strong Broncos defense. 112.64 to 108.42 Moore wins
Championship Round: It Just Means Moore vs. Koo Koo Ka Choo
Kenny is going for hist 3rd championship while Connor is attempting to become the first back-to-back championship winner in league history. On paper, both of their teams have a lot of great matchups that I think they can take advantage of. Buckle up folks, this one is going to be a high scorer, one that would make Mike Leach proud. In the end though, I have to go with my gut. 142.14 to 131.98 Moore wins
There you have it folks, I predict that Kenny will win his 3rd championship and once again etch his name into the record books. Kaelan, don’t be too mad at me, ok? I promise I’m only doing it because secretly, I hope that he loses in the 2nd round lol
Good luck everyone!
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