Unlike previous years preseason PR’s I’m not projecting the season’s finish. This is just the strength of the teams as I see them now, like a regular PR. Welcome to the Breakfast League 2023. May the best team win!
12. San Diego State Fightin’ Araizas - Owner Dan Jackson Jr
I’m hoping we don’t have another Jared situation on our hands here this year. This is clearly the worst of the 3 autodrafted teams, and Dan has yet to set his lineup. The autodraft gods gifted him Taylor, an RB holding out, and Kupp, who is injured and on the IR for 4 weeks. When those are your high round autodraft picks, things are not looking good. Also, Dak will supposedly be less pass heavy under the new Cowboys’ OC, and Gibbs, while a hyped rookie, did not get the bulk of the carries in Friday night’s opener. Throw in Godwin with his new QB, and I’d be shocked if this lineup broke 60 in Week 1 if Dan doesn’t set it soon. Davante Adams is a beast, but he’d break his back trying to carry this lineup.
11. Cousins had a Kittle Lamb - Owner Aaron Green
ESPN must have known Aaron’s team name from last year, which is why he was gifted Kittle again via autodraft. As with most autodrafted teams, the RB’s are very suspect here, with the backup for the Eagles, Breece Hall in a time share, and a KC running back. Not looking great. Hill and Lamb are top tier WR’s but they’re going to have to carry Aaron hard if he wants to make his first run to the playoffs since 2015, which is 8(!) years ago now. I was just a freshman in college and not even in the league then! But regardless of success, we all love the chaotic energy Aaron brings to the league.
10. Mixon’s Fight Club - Owner RJ Dechow
RJ, è stato carino da parte tua venire con noi da Venice. We all were wishing you a safe and fun honeymoon. As far as the draft goes, it’s clear that RJ will be heavily relying on the Bengals and Bears this year, with 4 players in the starting lineup between those 2 teams. This type of approach can lead to a bit of a boom/bust scenario when you’re too reliant on 1 or 2 teams. And the bench for me looks very meh compared to some others. Still, if Robinson can reach the rookie hype he’s been getting and Fields can take the next step with the Bears, I can see this team contending for a playoff spot.
9. Saquon Deez Nuts - Owner Ethan Maas
GOT EEEEEEEEMMM! Or not, considering the autodraft. As far as autodrafts go though, this one’s pretty good considering you actually got good running back in Barkley and Pollard. Deebo is always a wildcard as well, and I like Herbert. There’s some real playoff potential here. Watch out for Meyers with his new team as well as Mooney on a Chicago team that could be very improved. As far as team names go, it’s another one that thousands of fantasy teams probably have, but at least this one’s funny, unlike Kenny’s.
8. Iowa City Mo - Owner Marie Ohlinger
I’m happy to welcome my sister Marie to the league, but right away, she may be in for a rude awakening against me. Skyy Moore did not look great, and Toney had the butteriest of fingers even with Kelce out - they didn’t take the opportunity. Josh Allen has carried many a fantasy matchup though, and ETN may be due for a breakout year if the Jags are as good as I think they could be. There’s lots of proven names in the league, so I’ll hold off on placing the rookie higher for now, but the potential is there with this team to make the playoffs.
7. From The Logo! - Owner Al Ohlinger
As you know from previous years, it’s always tough to evaluate my own team because if I didn’t like the guy, I wouldn’t have picked him (2 distraction autodrafts aside). But I’m as big a Tua believer as anyone, and if he doesn’t get hurt the Dolphins will win the AFC East with him leading the team. I’ve got 2 Jacksonville pass catchers, and I got Dobbins at good value. Garett Wilson is a bit of an unknown with a new QB in Aaron Rodgers, but at least I didn’t take Kupp there, like I considered. And like Caitlin Clark, I'm gonna need McManus to hit a few 3's from the logo. If I bought into my own hype, I could rank myself higher, but that’s burned me the last 2 years. I’ve not finished lower than 8th though, so I’m definitely not putting myself lower than that.
6. Chillin’ with Mahomies - Owner Kenny Pancake
The classic Mahomes-Kelce stack. It’s a very boom or bust strategy, but KC has shown that a lot of weeks it’s the boom. It brought Connor to the championship game last year. Kenny probably had a heart attack when Kelce had his injury shortly after the draft, but at least it’s looking fairly short term. That’s especially after Mahomes had a litany of drops by his receivers in the opening Thursday night game. Kenny’s a bit thin at RB, but that’s the price you pay for the KC stack, and I trust him as a manager to alleviate that throughout the year. Can I just say this is the most unoriginal team name though? There are literally thousands of fantasy team with this exact name.
5. Left Handed Corn Dogs - Owner Alex Annan
Alex took Justin Jefferson #1 overall - let’s hope that working out better than the last time he had fantasy #1, when Todd Gurley got hurt. Jefferson will carry this team in some weeks, that’s just how it works when you have a top 3 player (non-QB) in the league. Also, David Montgomery is looking like a steal through 1 week, and if Mike Thomas can look like his old self and not get hurt, that could be a fantastic pick as well. I’m not sold on the Steelers with Pickett as QB, but that doesn’t distract from the fact that Najee is an awesome pick as well. I expect this team to be a solid playoff contender, just like in most years Alex has been in the league. He has finished 5th 3 out of the last 4 years, so this seems like a fitting place to rank him.
4. Jamaal Jams - Owner Daren Lincourt
Sorry Daren, you’ll have to let me know what this name is in reference to besides including the first name of the new Saints RB, since Kamara is suspended. As for the team, AJ Brown looked amazing in Philly last year. Derrick Henry and Aaron Jones would have been an amazing duo to have 2-3 years ago, and still could be this year. And Lamar Jackson could be due for a breakout year under a new OC. The mentioned players will be the stars that carry this team week to week, but if players like Pitts or Smith-Schuster could break out of the funks they’ve been in the last couple year, that could elevate this team from playoff level to championship contender.
3. Koo Koo Ka Choo - Owner Connor Gibson
With a 1st and 2nd place in his first two years in the league, Connor must think we’re easy money. Well, I’m not so sure about that this year. Diggs and the Sun God alongside Burrow highlight this team, but like so many fantasy teams this year, RB is a coin toss on whether they’ll be good or not. It’s always tough to trust New England RB’s, and who knows whether Herbert will be the guy or not now that Montgomery is gone. And I’m not sure what Connor was thinking drafting Ertz as his primary TE given he's out for a month plus. But he’s got namesake Younghoe Koo back and has proven himself twice over, so I’m not going to doubt Connor’s manager prowess.
2. Crazy Train - Owner Sean Alumbaugh
I’m sure Sean would rather have me put him lower on the list, given my tendency to completely miss on his teams in the season previews. But when you draft 2 Iowa TE’s, sorry, I can’t put you any lower. I think Jacksonville is due for a breakout year, and Trevor Lawrence is a key component in that. Ekeler and Waddle give this team some balance with the top players being at both RB and WR. And at least in my dynasty league, the Bills D/ST and Daniel Carlson have helped me to two championships, so those are excellent choices if you’re not planning on streaming. I love this starting 9, but I’m not so sold on the depth (besides LaPorta). Let’s hope it’s not so necessary.
1. Team Suspension - Owner Kaelan Carlson
The last six years in the league, Kaelan has finished 1st, 11th, 1st, 10th, 3rd, and 12th, so it’s been a see saw ride for sure. Luckily, it’s an odd year this year so it looks like Team Suspension will be back in the top half. Helping him out will be the core of McCaffery, Josh Jacobs and Hurts, the 3 of which have big scoring potential. It was an interesting (and distracting) move to take a defense early, but it could work out if the 49ers have a good year. If Hopkins looks like himself from Arizona, now in Tennessee, and Pittman develops chemistry with the new Colts’ QB, this team could have league winning potential - and Kaelan is no stranger to winning leagues.
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