A PR released at a reasonable hour on a Wednesday? Unfathomable.
12. From The Logo! (2-8) PF 1019.86
Last Week: Loss vs Love and Flowers 69.3 – 132.36
LOL this guy’s a scrub.
11. Old Yellers (4-6) PF 950.06
Last Week: Loss vs Left Handed Corn Dogs 53.62 – 104.84
Holy shit, a team that scored worse than I did last week. That was disgusting, nobody except the QB scored more than 10 and even Lamar Jackson only scored 15. There’s not much to say here other than with the pack being so close, 4 wins is still in the playoff picture, if only by technicality. I’d be very surprised if this team made it as is.
10. San Diego State Fightin Araizas (6-4) PF 868.4
Last Week: Win vs Koo Ko Ka Choo 119.36 – 106.48
Life’s not fair sometimes, but sometimes it’s unfair in your favor. Would that we could all have the fair winds blow in our direction, the breeze at our backs. But you can’t hide the ugly truth from me. I see right through your lies. Underneath it all, you’re as rotten as the façade you aim to present. (Dak is finally playing pretty good, huh.)
9. Love and Flowers (3-7) PF 957.88
Last Week: Win vs From The Logo! 132.36 – 69.3
Live reaction from RJ’s basement:
To be fair though, that guy could move up to the top step right now if he was representing the Lions. I for one am thrilled to see the Liowans succeed so much, and they’re so much fun to watch as well. RJ won’t be making the playoffs, but he’d trade that in a heartbeat for the Lions making them in the real thing.
8. Koo Koo Ka Choo (4-6) PF 975.66
Last Week: Loss vs San Diego State Fightin Araizas 106.48 – 119.36
“So. You lost to the inactive team. You screwed up. You know what you did was stupid. The question is, how are you going to make the playoffs now? Maybe you were trying to be cool. Take it from a guy who’s been frozen for 65 years; the only way to really be cool is to follow the rules.” (We’ve been there more often than not this year Connor, no shame.)
7. Left Handed Corn Dogs (6-4) PF 1073.98
Last Week: Win vs Old Yellers 104.84 – 53.62
There are 7 teams that have a great shot at making the playoffs, but only 6 slots. At least one of those teams (maybe 2 if Dan’s team keeps getting away with it) is going to miss the playoffs. Despite the extra win over 5-5 teams, I’ve got Alex as the odd man out right now. It’s going to be hard to predict, but based on the trend of the season, the Corn Dogs started off hot but have quickly cooled in the fall and winter air. Will Justin Jefferson come back in time? CJ Stroud is the rookie of year, and David Montgomery and the Lions are on a roll. The pieces are there to make the playoffs, but it will be a tight race.
6. It’s a Love Story Kelce Just Say Yes (5-5) PF 1076.2
Last Week: Loss vs Crazy Train 119.22 – 136.64
It was a fairly strong week from the Swifties, but unfortunately for Kenny, his opponent said NO. This team will be right in the thick of the playoff race, but being a game back at 5-5 instead of 6-4 hurts a lot, not to mention the loss was to a fellow playoff hunter and will hurt in tiebreaks. Like all the top 7 there are upsides though. Tank Dell and the Texans are finally relevant after several years. Javonte Williams and the Broncos don’t look putrid anymore. And this team’s namesake and his QB can always carry a week, though their absence was felt last week.
5. Crazy Train (5-5) PF 1076.94
Last Week: Win vs It’s a Love Story Kelce Just Say Yes 136.64 – 119.22
Wow, it can’t be overstated how huge a win that was last week for Sean’s playoff hopes. Beating a fellow playoff contender and moving to .500 on the season is very clutch. Not only are Sean and Kenny tied at 5-5, but their PF is also less than 1 point apart 10 games into the year. I like Kenny’s roster better, but Sean earned the higher spot this week with the win. Brian Robinson was RB1 on the week, Hockenson is TE1 on the year, and Purdy and the 9ers blew out the Jags, helping Sean to the victory. So like the 2 teams before in this article, there’s pieces there, how they will fall is anyone’s guess. Will this be the unlucky team left out of the playoffs? We’ll have to see.
4. Dobbsy is a free Elf (5-5) PF 1157.76
Last Week: Win vs Team Suspension 123.62 – 115.82
Master has given Dobbsy a win! Every win has been tough to come by for Aaron this year, and facing the top team in the league this week was no different. But after the 0-4 start, he’s 5-1 since and would be an easy playoff favorite if not for, you know, the actual record. So Aaron will have to sweat it out in his new socks, but at least he’ll do so with Tyreek Hill, the WR1 on the year, and Joshua Dobbs, who’s thrown 5 TD passes already with the Vikings. That’s as many as Zach Wilson has thrown with the Jets all year! Breece Hall really wishes he had Aaron Rodgers, because even though he’s good now, imagine how much better he’d be with a HOF QB. It’s another must win this week against a fellow 5-5 team in the Swifties.
3. Iowa City Mo (6-4) PF 1174.2
Last Week: Loss vs Saquon Deez Nuts 115.88 -134.52
It feels like a true toss-up at this point between the top 3 teams, who I think are a tier above the rest. Marie lost a tough one last week to another one of those 3 teams, but it’s not a bad loss at all. Still the opportunity was there to go to 2-0 against Kaelan and Ethan. Now those teams are all 1-1 against each other and it would come down to PF if they all won the division. Marie’s looking good there, only 3 points off the lead, and I’ve got this as the 2nd place team in terms of strength at the moment, but I’ll give the nod to Ethan in the PR since he got the W in the head to head this week. Josh Allen, ETN and Chase can carry this team on any given week, but they’ve been surprisingly inconsistent this year. We’ll see if they can deliver when it counts.
2. Saquon Deez Nuts (7-3) PF 1122.94
Last Week: Win vs Iowa City Mo 134.52 – 115.88
After a tough couple of weeks scoring wise, Ethan bounced back in a big way last week, defeating Marie and gaining some breathing room for the playoffs at 7-3 as opposed to 6-4. Even though that record is tied with Kaelan, I’m not sold on this team being the best in the league yet. I need to see more consistency. The Herbert-Allen connection really carried this team last week, but that’s very boom or bust if the Chargers struggle on offense. To be fair though, the Chargers are a very good offense, and they have a great matchup this week against Green Bay. It should be an easy win this week against the worst team in the league.
1. Team Suspension (7-3) PF 1180.8
Last Week: Loss vs Dobbsy is a free Elf 115.82 – 123.62
Kaelan remains atop the PR despite last week’s loss due to Marie also losing, and the fact that he still leads the league in wins and PF. Also, there’s no shame in losing to a good team and putting up a respectable score – this team is still fine. Josh Jacobs is looking way better with a new head coach. And if Hurts is no longer hurt and McCaffery continues to be his stud self, Team Suspension will return to it’s winning ways soon.
Next Week’s Preview
Game of the Week
Both these teams feel better than their 5-5 records show, and both feel like playoff teams. But one will fall to 5-6 after this week. And you really want to avoid that, so it’s a huge game.
Sean pulled off the huge win last week to move to .500 but it doesn’t get any easier this week against the final boss of the league.
It should be pretty much a bye week for Ethan this week. I’ve lost 7 in a row, and I’m in last place for the first time in 8 years in the Breakfast League.
From one Ohlinger to another for RJ, but this one won’t be so easy to defeat this week. Still, the 130+ was impressive. Is it a sign of things to come?
Alex, don’t fuck this up. All you have to do is beat the inactive team. Surely 7 of us won’t lose to someone not setting their lineup. Right? Right?
Last chance saloon for these two teams’ playoff pushes. It’s a must win situation for both, and the loser is all but eliminated.
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