PR by RJ Dechow
Uploaded by Al Ohlinger
Happy Thanksgiving! Just like last year, I get the honor of doing the Power Rankings for the Thanksgiving week of games where I have the stage all to myself, just like the Lions will for 3 hours on Thursday during which they will get savagely beaten by the Bills. Ah, good times.
With everyone having played each other once, the tiebreakers are coming into focus. Every team mathematically still has a chance (yes, even the dumpster fire that is the Sausage division). On with the rankings!
12. Conner Party (4-7)
Another week, another loss, another “Where is Jared” chant. He does get a break the next two weeks though with none of his players on a bye and only Breece Hall still injured, giving him his best chance to win. Since he won all 3 of his division games earlier in the season, any win he gets now is a huge tiebreaker and effectively knocks the loser out of the race for the playoff.
11. Crazy Train (3-8)
Wow!!! Upset of the year so far – congrats! Crazy got weird last week and knocked off Redacted* in a surprising upset that probably caused a few Redacted words. That win puts Crazy back into the race for the division title and hopefully with Murray coming back this week, your QB situation is figured out. Losing Pitts might be a blessing in disguise as you don’t have to waste a starter spot anymore on him. Jameson Williams is also back to practicing but it might be too late to have much of an impact this year. No matter what happens the next 3 weeks, you’ll always have that win 😊
10. Make Fantasy Great Again (3-8)
James Conner is looking alive again and gives you a great 1+2 punch at RB with Jacobs. Dak is in charge of a lethal offense in Dallas and McLaurin+Lockett is a solid WR duo. Depth is an issue but all it takes is one guy going off to clinch a victory in a weak division. It starts this week against Crazy, a game that you won earlier in the year. Win again and that’s one less team you have to worry about.
9. Team Suspension (4-7)
You still have a chance! But... it’s probably too late and losing Kupp resulted in the lowest score for you this season. Still have enough talent (both on the team and manager wise) to pull off an upset and piss off someone but your chances to make the playoffs died last week with losing to Al. Better luck next year (don’t tell Kenny I told you that)!
8. Kittle bit of CHAOS (3-8)
Keenan Allen coming back healthy could not have come at a better time for you, and he looked good last week! Adding him to a core of Herbert, Chubb, Jones, and Kittle with the upstart Pacheco and Lazard being steady means this can be a dangerous team... if you can get into the playoffs. If you lose this week to Conner Party, you unfortunately won’t get a chance. This week is for all the marbles that you have. Win, and I think you’ll win the division and might be able to pull off an upset or two in the playoffs.
7. I’m Really Feeling It! (5-6)
Ok, you’re in a better position than last year when you were 4-7 entering divisional play and turned around and won 3 straight. If you find that magic again this year, you should have a playoff berth. You definitely have the talent to do that, you just haven’t been consistent enough. Playing in the toughest division in the league doesn’t help either, but if anyone can sneak their way in, it’s Al.
6. San Diego State Fightin Araizas (8-3)
Another week, another win. 7 straight wins has vaulted this team into a near playoff lock. Araizas also still has a chance of winning the division outright, but a Cougar win coupled with an Araizas loss nullifies that. This is a very top-heavy team however, with a lack of depth at the QB, RB, and TE position. Working the waiver wire with $0 is also a strong headwind as well limiting this team’s ability to quickly find a valuable replacement. One more win would solidify his playoff standing but his quality of tiebreakers will probably do that for him, even if he doesn’t win another game the next 3 weeks.
5. *TeamName Redacted* (6-5)
...what was that? A huge upset now means you are holding onto the last playoff seed which little margin for error. You need to win this week to feel better about where you stand. Josh Allen hasn’t cracked 25 points a game in his last 4 after not scoring less than 25 in his first 6 (hint: not good). I still love this team’s depth (ok not at RB with only two RBs on the roster) but since you started off 1-2 in division play, you have some work to do to make up those tiebreakers. Can’t avoid another slipup this week against Suspension (who would love to take you down).
4. Baker’s Dozen (6-5)
As long as Williams continues to get the goal-line work for Detroit, you don’t have a weak link in your starting lineup. Smith has been one of the fantasy surprises this year, along with Stevenson and mixing those two guys with Henry and Hill means you have one of the best 4 group of players in the league. An upset this week of Cougar would help solidify your playoff positioning as you’re currently on the outside looking in so you need to win at least 2 of your last 3 to feel good about your chances.
3. Koo Koo Ka Choo (6-5)
Welp, Jefferson had a bad week as did the Vikings (40-3...no one was expecting that slaughter). Look for him to bounce back this week. Mahomes and Kelce continue to be the top duo in the league and form the backbone of Choo’s chances for a title. Important games await but winning 2 of 3 (notice a trend here?) helps your playoff chances immensely.
2. It Just Means Moore (8-3)
Wow, what a game – came down to the last second where my defense picked off a pass to clinch the victory. If the 49ers didn’t do that, Kenny would have pole position with the #1 seed right now. As it stands, he still is in really good shape with winning his division even though the last two weeks have not been kind injury wise. Losing Wan’dale hits hard. That 1st round bye would come in very handy to let his team rest up another week as you currently have 3 guys on IR and Mike Williams is questionable yet again. Winning one game almost guarantees you that bye.
1. Wilson’s Cougar Hunters (10-1)
Somehow, someway, this team finds a way to win. I just hope I’m not blowing all my luck in the regular season when I have a history of flaming out in the playoffs. Hopefully Fields can bounce back quickly from him dislocated shoulder but at least I have the best masseuse in Houston as a quality backup. Mixon also has a concussion and Toney reinjured his hamstring so that matchup against Kenny really messed both of us up. The next 3 games are going to be tough, and everyone in the Waffle division is still fighting for a playoff spot. One win would almost clinch that bye for me – I desperately need it.
Game of the Week: Kittle bit of CHAOS vs. Conner Party
The Sausage division race interests me so much because most likely, someone will win the title with only 5 maaaaybe 6 wins. This matchup in particular because it pits the current leader (Conner Party) against the team I think is the best (CHAOS). If CHAOS loses though, his chances thanks to the tiebreaker effectively drop to 0. This is a must-win for him at all costs. He’ll succeed. CHAOS by 2.
The Other Games
Wilson’s Cougar Hunters vs Baker’s Dozen
I’m looking for avenging my only loss this year (by 3 points) to Baker. It won’t happen here and Baker solidifies his playoff chance. Baker by 8.
Team Suspension vs. *TeamName Redacted*
Suspension will put up a good fight and Josh Allen struggles continue against a valiant Lions’ defense on Thanksgiving... but Redacted avoids another embarrassing upset. Redacted by 13.
It Just Means Moore vs. Koo Koo Ka Choo
The Mahomes/Kelce train runs out of steam this week against a good defense. Moore makes it a blowout. Moore by 20.
I’m Really Feeling It vs. Fightin Araizas
Araizas has the 2nd longest winning streak in the league currently. That ends against a team with its back up against the wall. Feeling it by 9.5.
Crazy Train vs. Make Fantasy Great Again
This one is close with the projections. Coin flip. Crazy Train continues to be a wild ride. Crazy by 0.5.
As we look ahead to the rest of the division slate, here are some games to keep in mind for tiebreaker purposes/intrigue.
Week 13
Fightin Araizas vs. Wilson’s Cougar Hunters – division title possibly on the line
*TeamName Redacted* vs. It Just Means Moore – division title possibly on the line
Baker’s Dozen vs. I’m Really Feeling It – possible playoff eliminator?
Any of the Sausage games... or none if Conner wins this week.
Week 14
Wilson’s Cougar Hunters vs. I’m Really Feeling It – for pride or playoff
Koo Koo Ka Choo vs. *TeamName Redacted* - possible playoff eliminator?
Kittle bit of CHAOS vs Crazy Train – both teams will have played against Connor for a 2nd time – could be for the division title here.
Well, there you have it! Now get fat and watch my Lions lose!
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