So last week, if you didn’t have someone on your team get hurt, you were extremely lucky. Who’s was out or missed time? Barkley and McCaffery were the biggest hits as the two biggest names in the draft. The names also included Raheem Mostert, Tevin Coleman, Jimmy Garoppolo, Shepard, Tyrod Taylor, Parris Campbell, Davante Adams, Cam Akers, Drew Lock, Courtland Sutton, Jerry Jeudy, Breshad Perriman, DJ Chark, George Kittle and some others I’m sure I missed or may have been more minor injuries. And those aren’t even including any defensive players, offensive linemen, or special teams players. So yeah, this is the “everybody’s hurt edition”.
This is the Week 2 PR, and I’m not ready to discount my preseason predictions yet. Like I’ve said before, I don’t like to just discount my initial reaction to a team, but I also should acknowledge the two weeks that have been played as well as any updates to the roster such as trades, injuries, and waiver wire moves. Therefore this PR is based 50% on my predictions and 50% on what I’ve seen. I like to do 25% per week, so if I had done week 1 it would be 75% my predictions and 25% results and if I were to do week 3 it would be 25% my predictions and 75% results. So by week 4 I’m just looking at what’s happened. And yeah, I’ve got some corrections to make (looking at you, Dan).
One last thing before we dive in: this season is reminding me quite a bit of 2017, where if my memory serves, everyone but 2 teams started 1-1, and in an 11 game season, the best record was 7-4, and the worst was 3-8. Aka, no great teams, no bad teams, and a massive logjam in the middle where upsets happened nearly every week. This is decidedly the opposite of last year, where there were 2-3 teams that were clearly head and shoulders above everyone else. This year, only 4 teams are not 1-1, but of course that could change. Injuries change everything about teams, so which teams are good one week could absolutely change week to week throughout the season.
12. Conner Party (1-1), 209.64 PF, -2
Last week: Win vs. Cows of Colorado 111.64-100.26
Let’s start with the positives: Jared picked up a division win last week. The importance of those cannot be understated, and in the end of the day, the W is the only thing that matters. Also, CEH looks good so far (although not great, which is what you want from your first rounder), and Dionte Johnson is turning out to be a good option for Big Ben and the Steelers. The starting lineup this week looks okay at least, but I’m not convinced of Joshua Kelly as a backup to Eckler with Herbert making his debut on Sunday. The problem I have with this team is the absolute lack of depth on the bench, and two pretty uninspiring scores the first two weeks. No one’s out of it yet, and obviously this team is only 1-1, the same record some much higher teams on this list have, but I’ve got to put somebody here. Plus, you never know when this team could start eating itself.
11. Go Bark Yourself (0-2), 214.22 PF, -4
Last week: Loss vs Sherlock Jones 115.18-125.42
Nobody in the league got hit harder by injuries than RJ last week. Barkley out for the entire season would have alone been enough for that statistic. But Kenny Golladay, Zack Moss, and N’Keal Harry all have (less severe) injury issues as well. Ouch. I’m not one to punish entirely for injuries, but boy is that lack of depth at running back I initially complained about hurting the team here. Welp, I guess we’ll see what Mike Davis can do in Carolina and if Gibson can continue to improve as a rookie. It doesn’t help that TY Hilton has been an absolute dud so far as well. On a happier note, congrats to RJ your marriage buddy!
10. Crazy Train (0-2), 223.14 PF, -2
Last Week: Loss vs. CoronaVirus Crowns 119.58-128.62
When your 1st round pick is out like Michael Thomas has been, that’s always tough. Is this the 10th best team in the league right now? Who knows? My instinct says they’re better than this, but then again, they’re one of only 2 teams with two losses. On the bright side, Jonathon Taylor has been the best rookie RB thus far, regardless of if it’s only because Mack is out for the year or not. He’s a great player and now has the opportunity. But frankly, Tom Brady has not been a good fantasy QB (or real life QB for that matter) in Tampa so far, and when QB’s around the league are regularly putting up 25+, 10.68 points is unacceptable from your starting QB. A mixed bag as far as roster goes combined with 2 losses so far lands this team here on the list.
9. Cows of Colorado (1-1), 220.46, +0
Last Week: Loss vs. Conner Party 100.26-111.64
I don’t really know what to say about this team that I didn’t say in the preseason. The starting lineup is pretty average, the bench is uninspiring, and if you drafted a QB in the first 3 rounds and he’s not putting up 30+ PPG, that qualifies as a bust because of the opportunity cost. 1-1’s not bad to start off in divisional play, and Alex should get George Kittle back this week, so things could turn around, but this roster besides Kamara is just so meh.
8. TANKIN FOR TUA (1-1), 207.22 PF, -7
Last Week: Loss vs. Two Girls, One Kupp 102.4-123.7
This is probably an overcorrection, but yeah, I’m dropping this team 7 spots this week and I’m beginning to believe that was just a lucky draft. WTF is Malcolm Brown, who was injured last week doing in your lineup right now while Nick Chubb is on your bench vs Washington this week?! (Sorry Sean, I’m calling that out. Like what is that?) And no, Aaron did not get insanely lucky and draft the correct defense in the 9th round, as the Bills put up -1 vs Miami. Bill O’Brian continues to be a terrible coach and the talent that is Deshaun Watson continues to be wasted in Houston. Seriously, I think Watson is as good as Mahomes and Jackson, but the Texans are just a dumpster fire at this point. And also, you DON’T LITERALLY HAVE A TO PUT TUA, A BACKUP QB, ON YOUR TEAM JUST BECAUSE YOU NAMED YOUR TEAM AFTER HIM. Aaron is already making my preseason pick look seriously bad.
7. Team Suspension (1-1), 211.78 PF, -5
Last Week: Loss vs. Big Ben’s Big Balls 97.08-161.9
So this was the first time since Week 11, 2018, that Team Suspension had a sub 100 point game. That team went 3-8 in the regular season. And you know, this loss actually concerns me. Because when Kaelan’s teams are good, they’re good. But when they’re bad, they’re, uh, pretty bad. There’s no in between because typically Team’s Suspension fortunes rely on the draft, as Kaelan doesn’t tend to make many moves in season, regardless of his record. So when things start to go south, they go south quickly. Maybe that will change this year. But I’m sounding the alarm now - Team Suspension should be on alert that this won’t be the cakewalk into the playoffs it was last year. P.S. - Drew Brees is old.
6. Big Ben’s Big Balls (1-1), 265.24 PF, +5
Last Week: Win vs. Team Suspension 161.9-97.08
Welcome to the win column, BBBB. Welcome to the league Daren - picking up a win versus the defending undefeated champion and doing it with the 2nd highest score of the week - now that’s the way to make a statement with your first win! I’m still pumping the brakes a bit because the running back depth still concerns me. But James Robinson was a great pickup, and finding an RB2 that went undrafted somehow has 100% been a boon. Also, 50% of the points last week came from two players: Dak Prescott and Aaron Jones, and while they’ll go onto have many good weeks, I don’t think they can carry this team alone and it’s unlikely either will have 40+ point games again, much less in the same week. But don’t let me burst your bubble. Enjoy the win, and I’m happy that the streak is dead.
5. Sherlock Jones (1-1), 212.52 PF, +1
Last Week: Win vs. Go Bark Yourself 125.42-115.18
After Kenny’s obligatory Week 1 loss to Kaelan, Sherlock Jones bounced back with a win in week 2, albeit aided by massive injury to his opponent in Saquon Barkley. But this is even year Matt Ryan, and he and the Falcons have a high powered offense and no defense. So that was a pretty good upgrade to Daniel Jones (7 points last week). Like I said two weeks ago, this is a solid lineup, and other that the injury to flex Mostert, this team pretty much escaped the injury bug. There’s a sneakily big matchup on the line next week for a game that, despite no one seeing it coming, might be between the top 2 teams in the Bacon division.
4. CoronaVirus Crowns (1-1), 243.6 PF, -1
Last Week: Win vs. Crazy Train 128.62-119.58
The Crowns sliding down one spot wasn’t really about this team being any worse than I thought they were. It’s just the teams ahead of them moving up a bit. Ethan really should be 2-0 if not for the -9 score from the Vikings D/ST in week 1. So they’re right about where I thought they’d be. It wasn’t an outstanding day from the positional players last week, but Russell Wilson absolutely carried this team last week, and that’s not the last time he’ll do that. He is absolutely cookin’! Actually, with Brandin Cooks and Jared Cook on this team as well, I would totally change my team name to “Too Many Cooks” but hey that’s just me.
3. Wave To The Kids! (1-1), 257.4, PF +1
Last Week: Loss vs. Monica Loves Clinton-Dix 121.34-165.58
So last week I lost to the hottest team in the league while leaving a buttload of points on my bench and also Davante Adams didn’t play half the game. Meh, it happens. Cam looks great in New England, and Zeke continues to be the most consistent back in the league. Seriously though, how lucky was I to have the 3rd pick when we saw what happened to the first 2 picks last week? Some of my bench players got hurt as well, but I’m still fine with what I’ve got, and I’m looking forward to the rematch with Dan in a few weeks.
2. Monica Loves Clinton-Dix (2-0), 320.46 PF, +10
Last Week: Win vs. Wave To The Kids! 165.58-121.34
Not only did Dan have the highest score the last 2 weeks, and not only does he have the highest PF, but also the win this week came with Josh Allen, the QB of his favorite team, against the only Patriots fan in the league, who ranked him dead last preseason. Ya know, I bet that one felt pretty good. I clearly underestimated Allen, even if it only was against the Jets and the Dolphins, and I forgot that this is even year Falcons, so Ridley is just going to go off like nobody’s business. The only reason this team isn’t number one is soley because McCaffery got hurt and the concern for depth at the RB position. Even with that, MLCD still pulled off a slick trade (that I think he won) to get Miles Sanders. If McCaffery comes back later in the season (thank God for IR spots!), and Carson and Allen can continue to be consistent, look out.
1. Two Girls, One Kupp (2-0), 254.46 PF, +4
Last Week: Win vs. TANKIN FOR TUA 123.7-102.4
This team is still solid up and down. So what makes them special? They’re the first team to 2 divisional wins, though BBBB and MLCD still have the chance to match that feat. Also, I really value the consistency Brandon’s team has shown so far - just over 120 points each week, and 2 wins to go along with it. The trade for Fant helped the starting lineup (though we’ll see how he does with a backup QB), and Hunt has impressed already even as a backup to Chubb. But probably most importantly, TG1K has avoided the injury bug so far. And luck plays just as big a factor as anything else in this game we love to play. We’ll see if Brandon can keep it up going forward.
Preview
Game of the Week:
I’m very interested to see if Daren can duplicate his success from last week and improve his record to 2-0 in the division. (And against 5 combined championships btw!)
Brandon looks to keep his undefeated season going while Alex looks to rebound from a loss.
Both of these teams look to bounce back from the loss of their Top 2 overall picks. One team was clearly hurt more by the loss, though. Dan looks to start 2-0 in the division and RJ is trying to avoid the 0-2 divisional and 0-3 overall start.
Last year’s title rematch is lacking the pizzazz from last year. That doesn’t mean I want to beat Kaelan any less though!
Man, there sure is a lot of death in these team names. Both teams started 1-1, but I expect Ethan to take this Sausage divisional game handily.
Both teams are 0-1 in their division, so both really need this win to stay relevant. Especially Sean though, because while it’s possible to come back from 0-3 overall, that is a huge mountain to climb.
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