Hello everyone, and welcome to the annual Breakfast League fantasy football season of 2018. Before I get started with this year’s post-draft power rankings, I would like to acknowledge a couple of things. First, I think the quality of this year’s draft by teams was especially high compared to the last couple of years. I think most people did a good job and took players at reasonable times. There were very few picks that didn’t make sense and therefore, in my eyes, most of the teams look decent.
So, for these power rankings, I’m going to have to get somewhat nitpicky. Maybe I don’t think you bench is as strong. Maybe there’s a weakness at a single position. These are the things I’m going to have to use. So even if your team is near the bottom, remember it’s relative, and I think this is set up to be the most competitive year yet.
I also wanted to acknowledge the changes we made at the rules committee, and without exception, I think they will improve the league. Removing divisions, changing the kicker scoring, and adding a trade deadline are all additions which will smooth out the bumps encountered in previous years. I also want to commend the league for being willing to come to the table, discuss changes, and then make them. This is something we’ve struggled with previously, so it’s nice to see an open dialogue.
Without further ado, here are the power rankings.
1. Avant Gardeyns
This is close for the number one spot, but I’m going to go with the Avant Gardeyns and Alex Annan for the number one draft. Looking at the starting players, I don’t really see a weakness. A nice first overall choice with Gurley, combined with Smith-Schuster at the end of the 4th and Russel at the start of the 5th really stood out to me as great value. I’m not quite sold on the bench, but I would take this starting lineup any day
Draft Grade: A
2. I’m Bringing Rexy Back
A close runner-up for the number one spot is everyone’s favorite league commissioner (by default mind you) Kenny Pancake. Again, a strong starting lineup here, and the bench isn’t looking too bad either. May have been a bit of a reach for Saquon with David Johnson still available but I’ve seen what the man did to my Hawkeyes so it should be fine. Between you and I, this could have been the first place team but someone has to keep Kenny’s ego in check.
Draft Grade: A
3. Frost Advisory
0/10 name. 9/10 draft. RJ Dechow is back with another strong lineup and looking to make it back to the playoffs. This is the last starting lineup I look at and think, “Yeah, I’d take that any day.” Virtually up there with the top 2 and the tiebreaker is the bench, which I like the least of the 3. Rostering 2 kickers and 2 D/ST’s just isn’t necessary. Could the lack of depth at WR and RB come into play?
Draft Grade: A-
4. Just Call Burton
Hello? Yes, my plumbing is hurting. It’s Jared Kmiecik back at it, and for his sake, I hope his luck is better this year. Losing your first-round draft pick sucks, and losing David Johnson really hurt this team last year, and Jared never really recovered. However, I do like this lineup, and that’s only grading the draft. Certain… acquisitions… are not being taken into account here. And that’s the beauty of fantasy. Even with losing McKinnon, his third-round pick, all is not lost. Fantasy is won throughout the season, with trades and waiver wire moves. Depending on a certain Steeler, this team may jump to the top.
Draft Grade: B+
5. Children of Thanos
Will the real Team Suspension please stand up? Brandon Gaede’s lineup has both Mark Ingram and Julian Edelmen serving 4 game suspensions. And we can’t forget the weed man himself, Josh Gordon, though he’s playing for now. For where he got these players in the draft however, if they can come back and produce, this will be a strong contender. Plus, I think Baker Mayfield is the star QB of the future if the Browns don’t screw him over too badly. At the end of the season, the rest of the league might not feel so good, Mr. Gaede.
Draft Grade: B
6. Team Suspension
Look, I’m going to be honest with you, I actually don’t like this team as much as a couple below it, but Kaelen Carlson gets a bump just because of his reputation: 2 time league winner, and only one year missing the playoffs, and that on the final game of the regular season. He clearly knows something I don’t and I expect him to be in contention so I won’t put him outside the top half of the league. However, In particular, the WR group seems to be lacking and I’m not sold on Lewis with the Titans. I’m sure I may end up eating my words.
Draft Grade: C+
7. Donald Trump’s Hair
We’re getting to the part of the rankings where in past years, there may have been a drop-off strength wise, but this year, like I said earlier, is different. People are getting better at this fantasy thing. Ethan Mass has another solid team that if it has any weakness is in the flex-bench territory. However, that’s what I have to go to here. Another team that always seems to be in contention, Ethan’s weakness seems to be making the right moves down the stretch, as his teams tend to start strong and fade. Can he reverse that trend this year?
Draft Grade: B-
8. Crazy Train
Ay ay ay! Sean Alumbaugh and Crazy Train hope their season doesn’t derail. Unlike most teams, I think the strength of this team is at WR. However, with the scarcity of good running backs, that could spell trouble in the case of injury. There is strong potential here, especially with Kirk Cousins now in Minnesota. Though ranked 8, this is another team that will be in the conversation come playoff time.
Draft Grade: B-
9. Party Like It’s 1999
Me, on draft day: “I’ll draft Bell, it’ll be fine.” Narrator: “It was not fine.” See my reply on Facebook for why I traded him. And, I just might put a bit more value in handcuffs in the future. Besides Bell, I got most of the players I wanted that I could get at my position and without the Bell fiasco I would have probably put myself in the top 6. However, as is:
Draft Grade: C
10. Chronic Masterdeflater
Dan Jackson once again has the best name in the league for the second year running. His team, however, just seems not quite as strong as last years. But, if last year was precedent for the best name this year, last year may also be precedent for this: Dan made by far the most moves in the league. Rest assured, for better or for worse, this team will probably look much different at the end of the season than it does now.
Draft Grade: C-
11. Crabtree on a Green Hill
I’m not saying Aaron Green should change his team name… but none of those players are on his team anymore. Look, this team has potential, but I’ve discussed how much I think the league has improved and when you’re still being a homer for even a couple of picks for your team… well, that’ll land you near the bottom. And I’m sure Aaron wouldn’t have it any other way.
Draft Grade: C-
12. The Rampaging Koala Bears
Other the wide receivers, this is in my opinion the weakest lineup in the Breakfast League. I hope Eli Thompson doesn’t take it personally though! I may be wrong in which case you can rub it in my face. But I’m not buying it until I see it.
Draft Grade: D+
For those of you that made it this far, here’s an added bonus: predictions! While these power rankings might be based on the draft, that doesn’t mean I think you’ll finish there at the end of the regular season. Some managers are better than others, and that can bump you up or down.
1. I’m Bringing Rexy Back
2. Children of Thanos
3. Team Suspension
4. Avant Gardeyns
5. Just Call Burton
6. Frost Advisory
7. Donald Trump’s Hair
8. Party Like It’s 1999
9. Chronic Masterdeflater
10. Crazy Train
11. Crabtree on a Green Hill
12. The Rampaging Koala Bears
Oooohhhh yes. I will take a natty win over the B-Dog ANY day.