Something new: two NFL teams aren't playing their game this week due to complications from COVID.
Something not new: I'm late on my rankings. So, let's skip the fluffy stuff and get to the fun!
12. Crazy Train (Sean Alumbaugh) / Record: 0-3 (0-2) / Difference: -2
3rd, Eggs Division (2GB) / PF: 327.52 (10th) / PA: 371.94 (4th) / ESPN PR: 6th
This is pretty simple. You have two division losses, you started 0-3, and that's that. What I will say is you've started 0-3 twice before... in one of those years, you won seven straight games and rode the streak to the title match where you lost only by a seeding points advantage (2014). So maybe you still have a chance.
11. TANKIN FOR TUA (Aaron Green) / Record: 2-1 (1-1) / Difference: -8
2nd, Eggs Division (0GB) / PF: 319.78 (12th) / PA: 325.88 (11th) / ESPN PR: 8th
OVERRATED!!! DRUNK MAN DOES NOT WIN SEASON!!!
I'm serious here. The man is dead last in points scored. He beat #'s 12 and 8 in my ranking - big deal. ESPN doesn't think a whole lot of him either, although more than I do.
10. Team Suspension (Kaelan Carlson) / Record: 2-1 (1-1) / Difference: -3
2nd, Bacon Division (0GB) / PF: 331.4 (9th) / PA: 317.68 (12th) / ESPN PR: 11th
I look at the number to the left of Kaelan's team name, and I confused myself. But, I look at who's ahead of him and I can't justify putting Kaelan above them. He has also been wickedly lucky with a Points Against ranking of dead last. I think this team is also overrated.
9. Go Bark Yourself (RJ Dechow) / Record: 1-2 (1-1) / Difference: +2
3rd, Waffle Division (1GB) / PF: 332.12 (8th) / PA: 361.92 (6th) / ESPN PR: 12th
What a win last week! Upsetting the hottest, #1 team in the League after losing your first round pick to injury! That's incredible, and you're showing spunk. Besides, you got Barkley's backup. Things are looking better than they should be. Buuuuuut you're still not making the playoffs.
8. Conner Party (Jared Kmiecik) / Record: 1-2 (1-1) / Difference: +4
3rd, Sausage Division (1GB) / PF: 333.24 (7th) / PA: 335.28 (9th) / ESPN PR: 4th
Murray. CEH. Kelce. The roster just looks too good with the big hitters. You just need to push up your scores a little more.
7. Sherlock Jones (Kenneth Pancake) / Record: 1-2 (0-2) / Difference: -2
3rd, Bacon Division (1GB) / PF: 344.54 (5th) / PA: 376.66 (3rd) / ESPN PR: 10th
I'm not very high on my team right now. I have little depth, and I already missed my chance to play Jamison Crowder this week, and I've lost two divisional games already... we'll see what happens. Still, the points keep on getting higher and higher each week. That's a good sign.
6. Wave To The Kids! (Al Ohlinger) / Record: 1-2 (1-1) / Difference: -3
2nd, Waffle Division (1GB) / PF: 326.08 (11th) / PA: 384.26 (1st) / ESPN PR: 5th
You scored how many points last week? That's concerning. But, you have faced the stiffest competition up to now. Things should turn around, and you should make the playoffs.
5. #4 Two Girls, One Kupp (Brandon Gaede) / Record: 2-1 (2-0) / Difference: -4
1st, Eggs Division / PF: 372.38 (4th) / PA: 327.84 (10th) / ESPN PR: 9th
Personally, I believe that Brandon is the only chance the League has of a repeat champion. Even then it doesn't look great, but remember that this year's playoffs are one-week matchups. This means that all you need is enough to get into the field - and three lucky weeks. And 2-0 in the division is nothing to shake a stick at.
4. #3 Cows of Colorado (Alex Annan) / Record: 2-1 (1-1) / Difference: +5
1st, Sausage Division / PF: 342.34 (6th) / PA: 344.54 (7th) / ESPN PR: 7th
Is this enough to earn your forgiveness, Alex the Great? ;)
3. #5 Coronavirus Crowns (Ethan Maas) / Record: 2-1 (1-1) / Difference: +1
2nd, Sausage Division (0GB) / PF: 373.8 (3rd) / PA: 363.58 (5th) / ESPN PR: 1st
Well, ESPN seems to think this will be Ethan's year. I'm not as confident, but he is putting up some solid points.
2. #2 Big Ben's Big Balls (Daren Lincourt) / Record: 2-1 (2-0) / Difference: +4
1st, Bacon Division / PF: 412.02 (2nd) / PA: 383.98 (2nd) / ESPN PR: 3rd
Mad respect my man. You've taken nearly the stiffest competition and gotten two division wins out of it. You've defeated the two owners that hold five of the League's six titles. You join your fellow Masshole in proving a force to be reckoned with.
1. #1 Monica Loves Clinton-Dix (Dan Jackson) / Record: 2-1 (1-1) / Difference: +1
1st, Waffle Division / PF: 420.92 (1st) / PA: 342.58 (8th) / ESPN PR: 2nd
I continue to love this team. Josh Allen is a star. The points are sky-high. You WILL make the playoffs, Dan the Man.
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